Wriiting task 2 ielts. Please help me with this below task, can you help me figure out where is unsuitable?

Task 2: Nowadays more and more parents are working full -time, leaving the children at home alone and under the care of someone else. what are the causes of this and what are the effects?

In recent years the number of working full-time parents and letting their children at home alone or under the care of others is increasing . This essay will attempt to elaborate on the main reasons and the possible impacts of this trend.

One of the major causes of this epidemic is inflation. With the growth of inflation goods become more and more expensive. low-income households can't afford the children with a qualified education even some essentials such as food ,electricity ,gas or a lower proportion of transport. The desire of making ends meet in the situation of inflation which makes parents work harder or full time at the office. That leads to children have to be at home by themself or under the care of others. This in turn could give a rise to addiction to electronic devices such as smartphones or computers. Furthermore, something's have learning problems or attention problems that make it harder for them to succeed in school.

Investing in their children's future is also one of the reasons having opportunity of studying in a good environment can help the kids get a high paying job and gain financial independence. With that desires parents work such hours, members in a family having less chance to express feeling, stress and that leads to indifference.

In conclusion there's a number of reasons for parents working full time living kids at home but down there already care of others and has liter several undesirable outcomes.