Would you tell me if the paragraph makes sense?

You should put a full stop after everyone, unless you replace the word that with which (which is why...). I would use do our part instead of contribute. Also, friendly to the environment, or eco-friendly.

It is completely intelligible but it is not correctly punctuated and the English is not quite right in places.

How about this one:
The environment and our planet concerns everyone, which is why we would like to do our part with a unique and exclusive dry-cleaning system that is 100% eco-friendly, harmless, odorless, and respectful with it.
Could it also be, '... and respects the environment', at the end?

But now we would have the problem of "environment" appearing at the beginning AND the

Here is my take:

Tenacious LearnerThe environment and our planet concerns everyone,

You have a compound subject in this sentence. Therefore the S/V agreement should be plural: concern.
That said, for me I think it flows better in this order ( with your original sentence i

Hello grammarfreak,
I really appreciate your correction!

TL