Would you pls help me with my Motivation letter? So many thanks~~~~

0Dear MountainHiker or somebody, 02br
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00I have read a lot from your forum about motivation letter writing. Here is my ML.02br
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00Background:02br
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00Application for a summer school & its full scholarship. They provide a limited number of scholarships for talented students, to be given primarily to applicants from countries where local scholarship funds are more limited. Scholarship recipients are selected on the basis of academic, personal and economic factors. 02br
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00Here is their requirement for ML:02br
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01b00Letter of motivation02b00(mandatory) 02br
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• 00Mention if you are applying for a full or a partial scholarship 02br
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• 00Please tell us why this course is important for your academic studies or career and why you should receive a scholarship to *** Summer School. 02br
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• 00Please tell us the reasons why you need a scholarship for the participation fees, the accommodation cost or both. 02br
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• 00The letter should be approximately 1-2 pages in length 02br
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• 00If you have elected to register for more than one course, please tell us why you are applying for the additional course. However, it is not possible to take more than one course at the same time.02li
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00Dear Scholarship Coordinator: 02br
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00With this letter, I’d like to express my aspiration for participation in your *** Summer School in *** for this vacation and put forward my application for a full scholarship offered by your esteemed organization.02br
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00I graduated in communications science and engineering with honor from *** University in July 2005, and after that I was admitted to pursue my Master’s degree in communications system without exams. Besides my major, I have always kept a keen interest in economics and environment. Though the main subjects in my major are mostly on wireless mobile communications, 3G, WLAN, etc., they can’t be isolated from the outer world; the development of the technologies are interlocked with the growth of the economy and evolution of the environment. So far, I have picked up some knowledge in principles of economics by self-study. However, that’s far from enough. I am really excited to learn about your *** program since I can equip myself with much more solid knowledge concerning environmental management and corporate social responsibility by taking such a course.02br
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00During my undergraduate years, I took up part-time jobs in various corporations. Through these experiences, I learn the significance of working environmental management, business sense and different incentives for personnel development. I am highly motivated to study and want to gain the scientific knowledge and practical experience needed to advance the public interest. Your summer school and business, environment and corporate social responsibility course will greatly help me for my future career and broaden my horizons, perfect my world outlook as well. Meanwhile, located in a city of culture and high technology, *** offers excellent facilities for studies; with high-quality instruction in multidisciplinary courses in combination with a good atmosphere, combined with a setting of professors and students from all over the world, I am confident that I will have a pleasant stay as wonderful as it has been for previous participants.02br
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00I learned from your homepage of the scholarships offered by your esteemed organization. As I have no other financial source to support my study in ***, I’d like to apply for the full scholarship. According to the criteria list, I believe I would make an ideal candidate. Diligent, confident and optimistic, I have always been an top student in my middle schools (top 2% of 500) and college (top 3% of 73). Since I am looking forward to participating in your *** program very much while lack of financial support, your assistance would be very important to me and your help would be greatly appreciated.02br
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00Last week I met with ***, a graduate student who took part in your *** in 2004. He encouraged me to apply for this program joyfully, saying it would bring all-round benefits to me. Thus, I feel more confident that *** is the right choice for me and I would appreciate to receive this precious opportunity to study in ***. Also, it is greatly appreciated if a full scholarship could be offered. 02br
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00Yours Sincerely,02br
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00Yolanda02br
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00Would you pls have a look and give me some suggestions if convenient?02br
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00I will appreciate your kindness very much.02br
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00Sincerely,02br
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00Yolanda02br
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