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Napoleon0073 Posted 15 years ago
Grammar

Would you please correct my grammar?, or anything

I am a recent graduate from xxxx University with bachelor of xxxx. While I was searching for a graduate position, I came across your advertisement in search of an experienced housing analyst. I am quite aware that I do not fit into your category of selection criteria. However, I have so much passion and enthusiasm to learn and contribute to your team. I am also looking for unpaid internships or any kind of work experience for any length of periods.
If you need any kind of assistant jobs, internship placement, or even a graduate position, I wish to have a chance for an interview.

Does this make sense??? doesn't it sound odd or anything??
English is my second language so I don't have sense that it is right or wrong.


Thank you for your help in advance. Emotion: smile
  

Top answer

Hi napoleon0073 Welcome to the Forums! Your entreaty sounds a bit too much like pleading in desperation. I have made some suggestions for your consideration.

  • Hi napoleon0073 Welcome to the Forums!
  • Your entreaty sounds a bit too much like pleading in desperation.
  • I have made some suggestions for your consideration.
  • I am a recent graduate from xx University with bachelor of xx (bachelor of arts/science) .
  • While I was searching for a graduate position, I came across your advertisement for in search of an experienced housing analyst.
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1 Answers
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Hi napoleon0073
Welcome to the Forums!
Your entreaty sounds a bit too much like pleading in desperation.
I have made some suggestions for your consideration.

I am a recent graduate from xx University with bachelor of xx (bachelor of arts/science). While I was searching for a graduate position, I came across your advertisement for in search of an exp

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