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Anh Seven Posted 9 years ago
Grammar

Would you please correct my essay. Thanks so much

Topic: Some people think the main purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society, others say education helps them to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Answer:

It is believed that educational pursuits should be aimed to serve a person’s individual gains. While it is valid to certen extent, I believe that education should benefit the socitey.

The notion that education should contribute to the fulfilment of one’s ambition is largely justificable. The key rationale in favor of this view is that by acquiring high qualification, an educated person would land a good job with lucrative income and promising prospect. However, this thinking is flawed. There are some professions in which an individual’s success story generally is based on his innate abilities rather than qualifications. For example, wealthy artists often further quickly in their career without achieving any formal schooling. This is a testament to how one’s achievements are not presented by education only.

I side with the view that education should play a key role in producing useful adults for society. The foremost reason is that education is largely believed to contribute qualified specialists being willing to devote their time and effort to the development of their particular subjects as a way of creating prosperity for society. For example, the financial experts probly can support the companies to raise the interest in particular, which contributes to the economy development of the society in general. In addition, once a person is well educated, he will become a good citizen and be likely to pay taxes. The more taxpayers there are, the more considerable state buget. The implication of this is that government would have more funding to allocate to social infrastructures and public amenities.

In conclusion, while there are some reasons for the view that education should offer benefit for individuals. I believe it’s purpose should be to provide learners knowledge to contribute to the society.

(289 words)

  

Top answer

It is believed (Who believes this? ) that educational pursuits should be aimed to serve a person’s individual gains. While it is valid to (missing word) certen extent, I believe that education should benefit the socitey .

  • It is believed (Who believes this?
  • ) that educational pursuits should be aimed to serve a person’s individual gains.
  • While it is valid to (missing word) certen extent, I believe that education should benefit the socitey .
  • The notion that education should contribute to the fulfilment of one’s ambition is largely justificable .
  • ) income and promising prospect .
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1 Answers
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It is believed (Who believes this? Passive voice statements like this are not very strong in academic essays.) that educational pursuits should be aimed to serve a person’s individual gains. While it is valid to (missing word) certen extent, I believe that education should benefit the socitey

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