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Persian Learner Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Would you please check my Task 2 (IELTS)
Hi.
As a matter of fact, those artists who are highly paid owing to their hard work should receive higher income. There are people in every profession that spend long years to become a master in their filed. It's quite reasonable that those who make less effort are subjected to lower pays for the service they give. This fair condition should dominate every filed of work, and the arts is no exception. Great art forms are like gold jewelries -- they are not easily found, and it takes a lot of time and effort to be designed. No one can argue that they should be regarded equally as a piece of iron.
Far beyond that, there should be a sense of competition among artists. A fight for getting better has led to great achievements in different industries. Artists should feel afraid that if they do not try hard to get better, their rivals would leave them behind financially and professionally. Otherwise, great artists would gradually lose interest in their work, and potential talented artists would choose some other professions to follow. Nobody would like a world free of great arts and artists.
Nevertheless, I agree that some young artists may struggle for their life necessities and have to choose second or third jobs to support their families. Not many people would select the arts as their major when they see such situations. Besides, these new artists can not improve as fast as possible without a sufficient financial support.
In essence, any government intervention towards resolving the difference in payments between highly skillful artists and those of the middle class would destroy the sense of competition and empty the world of great arts and artists. Instead, governments should support the new artists to find their way through their journey until they are fully independent.
The arts is arguably one of the important subjects to human beings and, in this regard, artists are in the center of attention. However, they do not receive equal pay for their works. While some may argue that governments should intervene to change this situation, I believe that due to sense of competition and hard work on behalf of successful artists any action from governments in this regard is condemned.
Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
As a matter of fact, those artists who are highly paid owing to their hard work should receive higher income. There are people in every profession that spend long years to become a master in their filed. It's quite reasonable that those who make less effort are subjected to lower pays for the service they give. This fair condition should dominate every filed of work, and the arts is no exception. Great art forms are like gold jewelries -- they are not easily found, and it takes a lot of time and effort to be designed. No one can argue that they should be regarded equally as a piece of iron.
Far beyond that, there should be a sense of competition among artists. A fight for getting better has led to great achievements in different industries. Artists should feel afraid that if they do not try hard to get better, their rivals would leave them behind financially and professionally. Otherwise, great artists would gradually lose interest in their work, and potential talented artists would choose some other professions to follow. Nobody would like a world free of great arts and artists.
Nevertheless, I agree that some young artists may struggle for their life necessities and have to choose second or third jobs to support their families. Not many people would select the arts as their major when they see such situations. Besides, these new artists can not improve as fast as possible without a sufficient financial support.
In essence, any government intervention towards resolving the difference in payments between highly skillful artists and those of the middle class would destroy the sense of competition and empty the world of great arts and artists. Instead, governments should support the new artists to find their way through their journey until they are fully independent.
Top answer
The arts are one of the most important components of our culture, and artists are often at the center of attention. I have fixed your first sentence and underlined some of the problem areas in the rest of your essay: However, they do not receive equal pay for their works . While some may argue that governments should intervene to change this situation, I believe that due to sense of competition and hard work on behalf of successful artists any action from governments in this regard is condemned.
- The arts are one of the most important components of our culture, and artists are often at the center of attention.
- I have fixed your first sentence and underlined some of the problem areas in the rest of your essay: However, they do not receive equal pay for their works .
- While some may argue that governments should intervene to change this situation, I believe that due to sense of competition and hard work on behalf of successful artists any action from governments in this regard is condemned.
- As a matter of fact, those artists who are highly paid owing to their hard work should receive higher income.
- There are people in every profession that spend long years to become a master in their filed .
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1 Answers
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The arts are one of the most important components of our culture, and artists are often at the center of attention.
I have fixed your first sentence and underlined some of the problem areas in the rest of your essay:
However, they do not receive equal pay for their works. While some may argue that governments should intervene to change this situation,
I have fixed your first sentence and underlined some of the problem areas in the rest of your essay:
However, they do not receive equal pay for their works. While some may argue that governments should intervene to change this situation,
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