Would you correct my English? (Sep.10)

Question

Hello. I wrote two dialogues. Would you check them?

No. 1 At a fish shop.

F: What's a flatfish going for today?

M: It is on sale, so it's just two dollars.

F: Great. I'll take one. Would you slice it for sashimi?

No. 2

M: Excuse me, do you have a mobile [ cellular ] phone?

F: No. I stopped using one [ it ] two months ago.

Q. Which is beter, "one" or "it"?

M: Really? Why?

F: I used to check emails every five minutes. I got exhausted.

Thank you! kenta

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Excellent.  My humble suggestions. (1) What are flatfish going for today? (I think many native speakers would be more comfortable with the plural.  E.g., what are tuna going for today?) (2) They're on sale.  Just two dollars each.  (3)Excuse me, do you have a cell phone? (4) No, I stopped using it two months ago. (5) I got exhausted checking my emails every five minutes.

Clive · Answer

Hi,

Here are a few more comments.

Your excellent dialogues often get into the area of cultural considerations, as I have noted.

No. 1 At a fish shop. As a cultural note about Canada, I don't remember the last time I even saw a fish shop. Most people buy fish in a supermarket.

F: What's a flatfish going for today? I agree with the comment that plural is better.

M: ~~It is on sale, so it's just two dollars~~. They're on sale. This one is just two dollars.

F: Great. I'll take it ~~one~~. Would you slice it for sashimi?

No. 2

M: Excuse me, do you have a mobile [ cellular ] phone? In Canada, we say a cell phone, or usually just 'a phone'. We assume that everyone has a phone at home, so 'Do you have a phone' in a context like this clearly means a cell phone.

It sounds like you want to borrow it.

If you are talking to a stranger, you wouldn't casually ask to borrow his phone.

If it's not a stranger, you wouldn't normally say 'Excuse me'.

F: No. I stopped using one [ it ] two months ago.

Q. Which is beter, "one" or "it"? One.

But note you could say this.

F: Yes. But I stopped using it two months ago.

The underlying idea is whether your words establish that you possess a specific phone.

M: Really? Why?

F: I used to check my email ~~emails~~ every five minutes. I got tired of it ~~exhausted.~~

tired of it - it became a nuisance, it became boring

exhausted - physically fatigued

Best wishes, Clive

Kenta · Answer

Hi. Thank you both. Your comments are very good and helpful.

Thank you very much!

kenta

Would you correct my English? (Sep.10)

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