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Kenta Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

Would you correct my English? (Feb.13)

Hello. I make it a rule to write one essay in English everyday.
I hope you'll check this essay.

Koala Rescued From Australia Wildfires

There was a deadly bushfire in Australia. You may have read the news
in the newspaper. A lot of people and animals were killed in the fire,
but the story that a koala was rescued by a firefighter moved people
all over the world.

A firefighter named David noticed a koala moving near a tree while he
was patroling. He felt that the koala looked at him as if he needed
help. He came close to him and tried offering him some water.

Surprisingly, he began drinking water from the bottle fearlessly.
One of his colleagues shot a film and put it on YouTube.
The website has logged more than 150,000 hits.

Some people may say this is just a trifle story, but it certainly
gave us hope and great impression.

Thank you!
  

Top answer

Try: Koala Rescued From Australia Wildfires There was a deadly bushfire in Australia. You may have read about it in the newspaper. Many people and animals were killed in the fire, but it was the story about a koala being rescued by a firefighter that moved people all over the world.

  • Try: Koala Rescued From Australia Wildfires There was a deadly bushfire in Australia.
  • You may have read about it in the newspaper.
  • Many people and animals were killed in the fire, but it was the story about a koala being rescued by a firefighter that moved people all over the world.
  • A firefighter named David noticed a koala was moving in a tree while he was patroling.
  • He felt that the koala was looking at him as though it needed his help.
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3 Answers
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Try:

Koala Rescued From Australia Wildfires

There was a deadly bushfire in Australia. You may have read about it
in the newspaper. Many people and animals were killed in the fire,
but it was the story about a koala being rescued by a firefighter that moved people
all over the world.

A firefighter named David noticed a koala was moving in a tree while he
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cbstehSome people may say this is just a trifle story, but it certainly
gives us hope and left a strong impression.
Correction:
Some people may say this is just a trifle story, but it certainly gives us hope and leaves a strong (or lasting) impression.

Chris
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Thank you. You helped me a lot!

kenta

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