would you correct my cover letter ?

Here is my cover letter for an american university. Please correct any mistakes and do not hesitate to change words if it sounds better.
Thanks in advance.


Dear…



I am a student at .... and I would like to explain to you the reasons why I want to spend a year attending an LLM at an American university.



I hope to pass the French bar examination and work as a lawyer. I’m most interested in working in an international law firm. Indeed, I would like to work on merger and acquisitions transactions which are only dealt by large law firms. Besides, working in such companies may allow me to work in a foreign country for a few years and I would really appreciate such opportunity.



For five studying years, I have always kept in my mind this final objective and this has led my professional and school choices.



Thereby/Thus, I have always been studying business law. First in a post-secondary preparatory school (« classe préparatoire à l’Ecole Normale Supérieure – Mention droit commercial ») and then at Lyon’s Business and Economic’s Law School (« Institut de droit et d’économie des affaires – Magistère de Juriste d’affaire droit privé »).



Furthermore, knowing that I had to improve my English, I decided to spent three months in the United States during the summer 2003. I went over there willing to be self-sufficient and I managed to. I found two jobs and by working 60 hours a week I was able to pay my rent, my food, my travels and even my visa fees.



Finally, I have tried to be intern in large international firms.

For instance, I have been an intern in an international law firm in Lyon last summer and I successfully managed to deal with business law issues and for the actual studying year, I decided to integrate the international legal direction of an international company in which I will all the time be working in english on international business law subjects.



Therefore, after having finished my business law studies in France, an LLM might be the best opportunity I would ever have to complete my studies.

I will improve my skills in business law and perfect my English and then be able to deal with any foreign clients (legal advice, negotiation...).

I’m also aware that nowadays, having a second post graduate formation is not only an advantage but a necessity for majority of employers because it prooves your high qualification level.



I would like to attend an LLM in the United States because American programs seem to be more recognized in France (mostly because international law firms are American), but also because my stay in this country was a great period and I would like to get back in this atmosphere.



I believe, for these reasons, an LLM in the United States stands for the best choice that exactly matches my professional and personal motivations.



Yours sincerely,