Would you be able to correct this. Thanks

Question

I have to report to my boss about a abusive guy who visits us at work. I should only stick to the facts. Here is what I want to say.

I spoke to Mr. X today. I asked him as you recommended to keep his conversations with staff at a bussines level. I started the conversation telling him that I notices last time he was here he left noticeable upset. I told him that I was as well very upset because I had to confront him about asking too many personal questions. He said that he "was missunderstood" that he was "just being curous" I told him that we wanted to keep doing business with him as long as he didn't ask inappropiate questions. I said that his comments made me and the rest of the staff very unconfortable.
I said that this was not the first time he had made inapropiate comments. That there were previous incidents I wasn't going to comment on at this point. ( In the past he had commented on of the staff's physical appearance and made vulgar and offencive jokes to another person)
He responded that he was sorprised it took 2 years for somebody to complain to him. At this point he insisted that he always asked profetional questions I remind him last time he had asked wether I had another job or not and what did I do after work. I told hem this kind of questions cross the limits of my personal space. He finish saying that he had to "agree to desagree"

Davkett · Accepted Answer

How do these changes sound to you?

I spoke to Mr. X today, and, as you recommended, asked him to keep his conversations with staff on a business level. I started the conversation by telling him I had noticed that the last time he was here he was visibly upset as he left. I told him that I was also upset because I had had to confront him about his tendency to ask too many questions of a personal nature. He replied that he "was misunderstood", that he was "just being curious". I told him that we wanted to continue doing business with him as long as he refrained from asking inappropriate questions. I added that his comments were making me and the rest of the staff very uncomfortable.
I said that this was not the first time he had made inappropiate comments, that there were previous incidents I wasn't going to comment on at this point. ( In the past he had commented on the physical appearance of one of the staff mambers, and to another person he made vulgar and offensive jokes).
He responded that he was surprised that it had taken two years for somebody to complain to him. At this point, he insisted that he had always asked professional questions. I reminded him that he had recently asked me whether I had another job, and what did I do after work. Questions like that, I said, cross the limits of my personal space. He finished by saying that he could [do no more than] "agree to disagree".

Anonymous · Answer

Great! thanks so much.  As you can tell English is not my first language and I always need more vocabulary, and the right way to say it, more when reporting to my boss.  You said it so well.  You are very kind to take the time.  I can't thank you enough.

Davkett · Answer

Your English is not that bad at all.  I'm glad I could help.

PWB_Smokes · Answer

Personally they’re a few sections that I would word differently. I hope you don’t mind, but I rewrote your report. This is what I came up with.

Here is your report that I have rewritten.

Today I spoke with Mr. X. While following your recommendations, I asked him to treat our relation on a strict business level. I clearly explained to Mr. X that the last time we met he left the office (or where ever you may work at) in an evident distress. Expressing my displeasure with the duty to confront Mr. X about the situation. Mr. X replied (e.g. angrily, calmly, disappointed, comfortably. However Mr. X’s tone was.), he “was Misunderstood” and was just “being curious.” I then explained to Mr. X, we would like to continue business with him. On the condition that he would no longer interrogate employees inappropriately. I then took the liberty to explain that his personal inquiry of the staff and myself left us feeling rather uncomfortable. There are also past incidents that I decided not to speak with Mr. X about, trying to keep the conflict from escalating. Some of these events include Mr. X’s inappropriate comments about the staffs’ physical appearance. Including vulgar and offensive jokes directed to another person present at the time. Mr. X then responded that he was appalled at the accusations. Mr. X then time and again insisted his questions were within business ethics. My reply to his statement brought up an incident where Mr. X had asked me if I had an additional job or not. Also asking what I do after work, I immediately expressed my concern about how I felt the questions invaded my limits of personal space. Mr. X then disrespectfully finished saying that he had to “agree to disagree.”

I would add more personal emotion/feeling to strengthen your report and emphasize upon the level of uncomfortably of the situation that Mr. X put the staff in and more importantly you.

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you.  I really appreciate your help and comments. You're right I'll add more feeling to stress my point.  Thanks again to you both.

MrPedantic · Answer

It's important not to embroider or exaggerate or misrepresent in matters of this kind, Anon, especially if you're putting something in writing.

I would strongly recommend a strictly factual and unemotional account.

MrP

Anonymous · Answer

Thanks, I wrote only about the facts.

MrPedantic · Answer

I didn't doubt it for an instant, Anon – I meant my comment rather as an alternative view to the suggestion that your note should be more emotional!

MrP

Would you be able to correct this. Thanks

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions