Would someone pls check my letter ?

This is a personal motivation letter. I hope someone find time to look it over.
Thank you in advance.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am applying to your Master program of "Software Engineering" starting in the winter
semester of 2015. My biggest hope is to finish a PhD program in the same field.

In September 2013. I graduated with a Bachelor degree in Electrical Engineering,
Communication and Information Technology, at the University of Electrical Engineering
Osijek. I graduated with highest honors, ranking in the top 10 percent. In June of 2015 I will
graduate with a Master degree in Communication and Information Technology, with an
expected average score above 95 percent. In the first year of my master program, I was the top
student of 28 in my class, with a score of 100 percent.

During my five years of college education I noticed my interests shifting from electronics to
computer science and software engineering. I found myself reading Bruce Eckel while I was
supposed to be making PCB boards. My Micro-controller course project turned out to be over
one thousand one hundred lines of code, but having only minimal electronics. My greatest
ambition is to finish a PhD program, but I insist that it is in a field I enjoy. In respect to that, I
find it necessary to start a master program in software engineering.

After much contemplation, I decided to look up available education opportunities abroad.
While I love the dedication of the faculty members of my University, the fact that there are
none extra curricular activities and almost no internship opportunities made me feel that
looking abroad is a necessity. After consulting linkedIn, I found your "Software Engineering"
Master program. I was immediately impressed with your curriculum. Not only do you
encourage attending courses during holidays, you also make internships mandatory.

Given my past academic success and ambition, I am confident I can exceed your high
expectations. My international background and education in a similar field will definitely
contribute to your program.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely yours,
Josip Posavi