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Riley Wheb Posted 13 years ago
Grammar
Wording help?
"Whether she intends to or not, Katniss becomes a strong example for the people in the Districts to follow, thus they idolise her and she gains their respect, positioning her as a very clear candidate as a figurehead for the coup."
Everything between "thus they idolise..." and "...figurehead for the coup." just sounds sketchy when I read it aloud. Can anyone help me word it more clearly?
Everything between "thus they idolise..." and "...figurehead for the coup." just sounds sketchy when I read it aloud. Can anyone help me word it more clearly?
Top answer
Welcome to the Forums! I would start a new sentence with Thus Then, add a comma after her ; then I think it's fine. "
- Welcome to the Forums!
- I would start a new sentence with Thus Then, add a comma after her ; then I think it's fine.
- "
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1 Answers
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Welcome to the Forums!
I would start a new sentence with Thus Then, add a comma after her; then I think it's fine. "Positioning her..." could be changed to "putting her in the position of a clear candidate.."
I would start a new sentence with Thus Then, add a comma after her; then I think it's fine. "Positioning her..." could be changed to "putting her in the position of a clear candidate.."
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