Will someone please help me with my shakespearean sonnet?

Can someone edit my poem and tell me the things I did wrong? Another thing I need help with is getting the poem into iambic pentameter. Oh and I don't know a good title for the poem. One last thing is a volta. I know what I wanted to write but I didn't know how to put it together. I was thinking of something like "Asking for help instead of taking the short way out."
Here is what I have so far of my sonnet.
Underneath her smile, lays an abyss of pain
No one knows she is tired of acting
Feigning happiness, she wants to refrain
This unending game is quite distracting
Pain calls upon an instrument of release
Fear runs at the sight of the razor's edge
Like a waterfall, the blood did not cease
Feeling faint, she held onto the ledge
Dropping onto the cold, freezing ground
Losing herself in darkness, she just wished
She had stepped back and looked at the background
The end came too soon and there she perished.

For lines 10 and 11. What I was trying to say was like. Before she died, she wished she had looked at the bigger picture and seen all the people that cared about her instead of taking the short way out.
This poem sounds like a suicide poem. That's not what I was intending for it to sound like. What I'm trying to tell people in the poem is to look around you and see all the people that care instead of seeing pain and hopelessness.