Will someone please critique this essay??

Every pilot has his or her first flight story. As an aspiring pilot, I too have my treasured ‘first time in the sky’ experience. I look back on this experience as the conception of my passion for aviation.

I am the competitive sort, always looking for a challenge and ways to excel and exceed people’s expectations. As I started high school, I contemplated several electives that would challenge my mind and push me farther. To this day, I hold deep respect for my father’s advice, so when he suggested I set my sights on a private pilot certificate I considered the possibility. At that point, though, I was oblivious to the aura of aviation, and the addictiveness of that aura. I hardly knew what I was considering.

In August of 2006, my dad took me to a fly-in; I was on the verge of making one of the best decisions of my life-to be a pilot. Stepping out of the car my eyes filled with rows and rows of airplanes and my heart with excitement. What could be better? As we strolled through the displays my father opened the door to an old Cessna, and for the first time I saw the inside of an airplane. I was hooked, yet things got sweeter. I went on a discovery flight, and there my view of the world was forever changed. During takeoff, I told the pilot that someday I would fill his shoes. To my surprise, he gave me the controls. Though deliriously happy, I tasted for a moment the responsibility pilots carry (I had two passengers in the back seat). I left the airport that day determined that no matter what obstacles presented themselves, someday I would be a pilot.