Hi! Please help me on this topic, the essay below is for IELTS Writing Task 2! Thank you so much!
Joining in colleges or universities is the dream of plenty of people. There are tons of causes that urge them to keep learning in a higher education sector. From my point of view, two main reasons lead people to attend colleges or universities are to gain knowledge as well as to get a high-paid salary job.
It seems to me that extending knowledge is a serious desire of every human beings all over the world who want to widen their mind. Entering colleges is not the only way to expand your awareness toward the world, this perhaps is the most profession and fastest way to prepare for your future career intends though. In other words, you could learn how to cook your meal through your mother, however, college will help you do it in the best way so that a vast number of people could enjoy your dishes, not just your family.
What’s more? When you have a proper certificate from a college or a university, the chance to get a well-paid job is greatly higher. Recruiters always want to pick up the highest-quality interviewee since better man brings them better money. And so, managers will willingly spend more money on the one that makes they think that they should invest in. And between the man that already trained for 4 years or so and the one that have not gone through any class and have just a little knowledge, who would you choose?
In short, everyone has their own ideas explaining why they get into college or university, but expanding knowledge and earning money are the two key factors that lead them to have this decision.
Hello, The changes I have made are in italics. Attending a college is the dream of plenty of people. There are tons of reasons that motivate them to keep learning in the higher education sector.
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Hello,
The changes I have made are in italics.
Attending a college is the dream of plenty of people. There are tons of reasons that motivate them to keep learning in the higher education sector. In my view, two main reasons that lead people to attend colleges, or universities, are to gain knowledge and to obtain a high-paying job.
It
Joining in (improper usage) colleges or universities is the dream of plenty of (too casual for a formal essay) people. There are tons of (too casual for a formal essay) causes that urge them to keep learning in a higher education sector. (improper usage) From my point of view, two main reasons lead people to attend colleges or universitie