Who's willing to help me with my essay? Please...

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This is very important so I really need some help. This essay was due like 2 weeks ago..
And I must finish this by Saturday, but I have finals this week.. so I want to get this done tomorrow because it's Sunday. My teacher said the first two paragraph is a good start.. she said I need to write an analysis for other paragraph. I did wrote one paragraph.. is that analysing?
NOTE that I am done yet. Correcting my grammar, etc would be a plus. ^_^

If you guys help me, I will really appreciate it! I think I deserve the help here because I need good GPA..

here's my essay..

Eduardo Lugo
12/11/10
ENG 101
Mrs. Kane

The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire
The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire was an event that held relevance in American history. On March, 25, 1911 at approximately 4:40 PM a fire broke out in the company's factory in New York City which was the deadliest industrial disaster. 147 workers died in that incident, they either died from the fire or jumped from the window. It was considered the most tragic fire incident in New York City. "The fire led to legislation requiring improved factory safety standards and helped spur the growth of the International Ladies' Garment workers' Union, which fought for better and safer working conditions for sweatshop workers in that industry" (Wikipedia)
The fire occurred due to the poor and unsafe working condition in the factory. The Shirtwaist Factory was located on the Asch Building in Manhattan. The working area was crowded with young workers. There were about 500 workers on the top three floors. On the ninth floor, there were approximately 288 machines and 308 employers. The machines took up a lot of space in the room, so they were all close to each other. The investigation reported that the greatest number of death occurred on the ninth floor. Also, the area was unclean due to the fact that it is a garment factory which there was pieces of cloth scattered on the floor. According to the fire marshal, this mess caused the fire to grow very quickly that they some workers had no time to escape. Also, the doors were locked to prevent the workers from stealing and leaving early.
In my opinion, the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory lacked of safety and cleaning environment. This was hundreds years ago, that's why it lacked of firefighting equipment because back in the day, things were different. Thus, all factories lacked of safety conditions. However, the fire marshal concluded that cigarettes caused the fire. They could be wrong. This incident happened on a pay day where they were about to leave. What if someone deliberately set the fire to the factory? The pay rates were very low and they worked hard and very long which I think the workers hated it.

XHealthY · Accepted Answer

Hello, I wrote more. Please fix my grammar and spelling if needed. Note that the last three paragraph is an analysis.. I think. I want to know if it is.

The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire

The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire was an event that held relevance in American history. On March, 25, 1911 at approximately 4:40 PM a fire broke out in the company's factory in New York City which was the deadliest industrial disaster. 147 workers died in that incident, they either died from the fire or jumped from the window. It was considered the most tragic fire incident in New York City. "The fire led to legislation requiring improved factory safety standards and helped spur the growth of the International Ladies' Garment workers' Union, which fought for better and safer working conditions for sweatshop workers in that industry" (Wikipedia)
The fire occurred due to the poor and unsafe working condition in the factory. The Shirtwaist Factory was located on the Asch Building in Manhattan. The working area was crowded with young workers. There were about 500 workers on the top three floors. On the ninth floor, there were approximately 288 machines and 308 employers. The machines took up a lot of space in the room, so they were all close to each other. The investigation reported that the greatest number of death occurred on the ninth floor. Also, the area was unclean due to the fact that it is a garment factory which there was pieces of cloth scattered on the floor. According to the fire marshal, this mess caused the fire to grow very quickly that they some workers had no time to escape. Also, the doors were locked to prevent the workers from stealing and leaving early.
In my opinion, the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory lacked of safety and cleaning environment. This was hundreds years ago, that's why it lacked of firefighting equipment because back in the day, things were different. Thus, all factories lacked of safety conditions. However, the fire marshal concluded that cigarettes caused the fire. They could be wrong. This incident happened on pay day where they were about to leave. What if someone deliberately set the fire to the factory? The pay rates were very low and they worked very long which I think they hated it.

The owners, Blanck and Harris were not found guilty. "I believed that the door was locked at the time of the fire. But we couldn't find them guilty unless we believed they knew the door was locked." (Christianson) I would have to say that the verdict on this particular case was a poor one, because the managers and owners were careless. USA lost 146 lives, because the managers and owners were lazy, a factory was burned down. Thus, the owners were only concerned about their well-being; USA suffered one of the WORST factory fires of all time. Actually, it was THE worst. In my opinion, the owners should have been guilty as charged, and should have been sentenced to jail for a very long time, and perhaps death sentence.
By looking at the list of victims, why would they hire teenager girls to work at an unsafe factory? Here's some list of victims who were teenagers: "Bellota, Vincenza, 16, asphyxiation/burns, Brodsky, Ida, 16 (Identified by her cousin), Maltese, Lucia (20) and Maltese, Rosia (14) both died from burns, identified by their father Serafino, and many more" (P. 275-283) Most of age between 18-25 died from the incident.

Who's willing to help me with my essay? Please...

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