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Anita_a Posted 21 years ago

Who Is Knocking At My Door?

EndTitle->


BeginPoem->Knocking at the door
of my heart
Someone is standing
With melody of the anklets.
My eyes don’t recognise
But my heart does
Remember the face.
I try to remember
But am not able to;
Such is the magic
of the persona.
In deep thought
is my heart
Dwelling in the world
of dreams.
For a moment I think
It is my hope
in person.
In the next moment ,
I know that it is
the shadow of life:
And along with it
Has come love,
To this stranger’s house
  

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Would appreciate any kind of comments, good, bad or ugly!

— Anita_a

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4 Answers
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Would appreciate any kind of comments, good, bad or ugly!Emotion: smile
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Hello Anita

I'm not so sure about 'magic', as it's quite a well-worn word; and 'dwell' has a slightly hymn-like quality these days. But I like the phrase 'melody of the anklets'; though I suppose it requires a verb that implies some kind of movement. And I like the rhythm of the last 5 lines.

MrP
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Thanks Mr.P.Wrote it a very long time ago. I don't know what to do with it now.... Maybe I will revise, just keep the first few lines and the last few lines..
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Oh dear Anita you wouldn't believe how much I liked your poem.This is the kind of art that I like most.Thanks for your sweet words ,SWEETY.
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