White elephant in the room

Question

What does 'the (or 'an' maybe...?) elephant in the room' mean?
I think this is something idiomatic or metaphoric, but I have no idea.
Any relations to the phrases such as 'white elephant' or 'pink elephant'?[<:o)]
Many thanks for your help in advance.

- Ah...BTW, if there were an elephant in my room.... what would I do.....!?
The most important thing I'd like to ask him/her would be.... "Please don't sleep on my bed!!"

Candy

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

One possibility (from a crisis intervention resource manual:

The Elephant in the Room
by Terry Kettering

(missing image)

There's an elephant in the room.

It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it.

Yet we squeeze by with, "How are you?" and "I'm fine," and a thousand other

forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather. We talk about work.

We talk about everything else, except the elephant in the room.

= A commanding presence which is either ignored or unnoticed.

And here is Wikipedia's explanation:

The elephant in the room (also elephant in the living room, elephant in the corner, 'elephant on the dinner table' etc) is an English for a question that very obviously stands, but for the convenience of one or other party is ignored. It derives its symbolic meaning from the fact that an http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant would indeed be conspicuous and remarkable in a small room; thus the idiom also implies a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Value_judgment that the issue should be discussed openly. The idiom is commonly used in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addiction recovery terminology to describe the reluctance of friends and family of an addicted person to discuss the person's problem, thus aiding the person in their http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denial.

The idiom is also occasionally invoked as "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_elephant in the corner," possibly in reference to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_abuse, or for no other reason than a pink elephant is more visible than a normal elephant.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Clarke's 1989 short television film 'Elephant' was a reference to this phrase; the elephant in this case was http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_troubles in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_Ireland. In an attempt to illustrate the core of the problem, Clarke's film stripped away all dialogue and plot, and was essentially a series of unrelated, motiveless shootings.[1]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gus_Van_Sant's 2003 film http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_%28movie%29, which is named after the Clarke film, places the idiom in the context of a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbine_High_School_massacre-style high school http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_massacre - although this was apparently inadvertent, as Van Sant apparently believed Clarke was referring to the story of three blind men investigating an elephant, each perceiving a different object. [2]

Paco2004 · Answer

Hello

Mr M's reply is superb. I have sought the origin of the idiom, but the effort ended in vain. What I found is only a trivial article that says:

Elephant in the room
The elephant in the room (also elephant in the living room, elephant in the corner) is an English idiom to mean such a problem that everyone knows it very well but at the same time they feel talking about it is a kind of taboo (because they know the problem is tough to solve)

"American culture, the elephant in the bed, can be transformed into a bridegroom or a bride, living in some sort of mutually beneficial relation."

paco

Mike in Japan · Answer

I had never heard this idiom before today.
I wonder how well known or often used it is.

Pieanne · Answer

I like it though! (I had never seen/heard it either)

Paco2004 · Answer

Hello Mike

I don't know how often it is used. But even only "elephant in America's living room" hits 40,000 sites on Google. I guess it may be an idiom loved by Americans.

"Racial differences are the elephant in America's living room. As hard as people try, it's impossible to ignore them. They cannot be ignored anymore than the fact that the Earth is not flat. Racial differences are part of reality."

paco

Mike in Japan · Answer

Hi Paco and Pieanne,

40,000 is a lot of hits! As you say, Paco, it may be popular in America.
Interesting quote too, though I feel it may be applied to the whole world, not just to America these days.

I know it's a bit off the topic, but I'm reminded of one of my favourite songs when I was a kid, Melting Pot by Blue Mink;

Take a pinch of white man
Wrap him up in black skin
Add a touch of blue blood
And a little bitty bit of red indian boy
Oh like a curly latin kids
Oh lordy, lordy, mixed with yellow ching kids, yeah
You know you lump it all together
And you got a recipe for a get along scene
Oh what a beautiful dream
If it could only come true, you know, you know

What we need is a great big melting pot
Big enough enough enough to take
The world and all it’s got
And keep it stirring for
A hundred years or more
And turn out coffee coloured people by the score

Rabbis and the friars
Vishnus and the gurus
We got the beatles or the sun ***
Well it really doesn’t matter
What religion you choose
And be thankful little mrs. graceful
You know that livin’ could be tasteful
We should all get together in a lovin machine
I think I’ll call up the queen
It’ s only fair that she knows, you know, you know

What we need is a great big melting pot
Big enough enough enough to take
The world and all it’s got
And keep it stirring for
A hundred years or more
And turn out coffee coloured people by the score

Coffee coloured people
Coffee coloured people
Coffee coloured people by the score

Pieanne · Answer

Donovan could have sung it!

Candy · Answer

Many thanks for all the help.

While I was watching a drama the other day, I came across 'elephant in the room.'

I thought it was a very unique and funny expression, though I didn't understand the meaning at all.

"elephant on the dinner table"

....lol, again, this is funny. How can we ignore its' presence?

Mr. M and Paco,

Thanks again for taking your time to answer my question.

Mike,

Thanks for sharing, I like the song very much!

Khoff · Answer

A similar (though not identical) expression is "skeleton in the closet."  This means a deep dark secret that would be devastating if revealed.  You might see a sentence like "The new Supeme Court nominee was thoroughly vetted to be sure there are no skeletons lurking in his closet." -- meaning no secret problems like alcoholism, drug use or former crimes.  (Future crimes are a whole different story.)  An elephant in the living room is something that everyone knows about but no one mentions, like Mom's drinking problem.  A skeleton in the closet might not even be known to all the family members - something like the illegitimate child Mom gave away for adoption when she was 17.

MrPedantic · Answer

Mike In JapanI had never heard this idiom before today.

Which idiom?

White elephant in the room

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions