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JJDouglas Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

Which version is better?

Which of these two versions would you say is the most grammatically correct and has the clearest meaning?

"The studio is celebrating the film's upcoming eightieth anniversary by releasing a new documentary on Netflix, The Fairest In The Land: The Making Of Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs, that will look at the fascinating struggle behind the film and the influence it has had."

"The studio is celebrating the film's upcoming eightieth anniversary by releasing a new documentary, The Fairest In The Land: The Making Of Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs, on Netflix that will look at the fascinating struggle behind the film and the influence it has had."

They are very similar, but basically, I'm confused about whether "on Netflix" should go before the title or after the title. I feel that while the second may be the most technically correct, as the film's title is closest to the word "documentary", the first one sounds much less awkward when read out loud.
  

Top answer

Here is my suggestion: Move "on Netflix" forward: ... by releasing on Netflix a new documentary.... This avoids putting "Netflix" between the documentary and its title (the problem with the first paragraph).

  • Here is my suggestion: Move "on Netflix" forward: ...
  • by releasing on Netflix a new documentary....
  • This avoids putting "Netflix" between the documentary and its title (the problem with the first paragraph).
  • It also avoids separating so widely the action (releasing) with one of its qualifiers (on Netflix)--the problem with the second paragraph.
  • Clear?
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1 Answers
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Here is my suggestion: Move "on Netflix" forward:
... by releasing on Netflix a new documentary....
This avoids putting "Netflix" between the documentary and its title (the problem with the first paragraph). It also avoids separating so widely the action (releasing) with one of its qualifiers (on Netflix)--the problem with the second paragraph.

Clear?

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