Which version is better?

Question

V1: That leads to his long-term goal—to build his own consulting practice based on his rich cross-cultural and interdisciplinary experience to help Asian companies move beyond their own region and go global.

V2: That leads to his long-term goal—to utilize his rich cross-cultural and interdisciplinary experience in building his own consulting practice to help Asian companies move beyond their own region and go global.

Or probably a better one?

Thanks!

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

V2.

guoguo914Or probably a better one?

Hard to say without context. They both sound rather verbose.

Guoguo914 · Answer

Someone suggests this version:

V2: That leads to his long-term goal—utilizing his rich cross-cultural and interdisciplinary experience, to build his own consulting practice to help Asian companies move beyond their own region and go global.

The point here is to emphasize "build".

Any suggestion?

Mister Micawber · Answer

guoguo914V2: That leads to his long-term goal—utilizing his rich cross-cultural and interdisciplinary experience, to build his own consulting practice to help Asian companies move beyond their own region and go global.

I see no advantage over the previous two versions.

guoguo914The point here is to emphasize "build".

'Build' is not particularly emphasized in any of those complex constructions, but it is most obvious in your V1.

guoguo914Any suggestion?

I'd cut all the blather about his own wonderful experience and some other unnecessary verbosity:

That leads to his long-term goal—to build his own consulting practice to help Asian companies go global.

Which version is better?

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