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Wangqh2696122 Posted 14 years ago
Grammar
Which version is better?
Version 1:
Dear Peter,
I would like to tell you that our school has worked out a new program. The purposes of the program are to make our school more beautiful, to make the air cleaner and fresher, and to turn our school into a better place for us to study and live in.
According to the program, we will plant different kinds of trees, flowers and grass in and around our school. A botanical garden will be built for us to visit and practice in. Besides, we are to build a small garden in which we can do some reading and take a rest. What’s more, some statues of famous people will be set up to encourage us to work harder. Don’t you think it a wonderful program?
Welcome to our school if you have any chance.
Version 2:
Dear Peter,
I'd like to tell you that our school has worked out a face-lifting program, the purposes of which are to beatify our school, to purify the air and make our school i a better place for our life and study.
According to the program, we will plant different kinds of trees, flowers and grass in and around our school and build botanical garden will be built for us to visit and practice in. Besides, we are to build a small garden in which we can do some reading and take a rest, and further set up some statues of famous people to encourage us to work harder. Don't you think it a wonderful program?
Welcome to our school if you have any chance.
Dear Peter,
I would like to tell you that our school has worked out a new program. The purposes of the program are to make our school more beautiful, to make the air cleaner and fresher, and to turn our school into a better place for us to study and live in.
According to the program, we will plant different kinds of trees, flowers and grass in and around our school. A botanical garden will be built for us to visit and practice in. Besides, we are to build a small garden in which we can do some reading and take a rest. What’s more, some statues of famous people will be set up to encourage us to work harder. Don’t you think it a wonderful program?
Welcome to our school if you have any chance.
Version 2:
Dear Peter,
I'd like to tell you that our school has worked out a face-lifting program, the purposes of which are to beatify our school, to purify the air and make our school i a better place for our life and study.
According to the program, we will plant different kinds of trees, flowers and grass in and around our school and build botanical garden will be built for us to visit and practice in. Besides, we are to build a small garden in which we can do some reading and take a rest, and further set up some statues of famous people to encourage us to work harder. Don't you think it a wonderful program?
Welcome to our school if you have any chance.
Top answer
Both versions have problems, but it seems like the first one has fewer errors than the second.
- Both versions have problems, but it seems like the first one has fewer errors than the second.
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6 Answers
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Both versions have problems, but it seems like the first one has fewer errors than the second.
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I'd like to tell you that our school has worked out a face-lifting program, the purposes of which are to beatify (make it a saint?) our school, to purify the air and make our school i (?) a better place for our life (singular?) and study.
According to the program, we will plant different kinds of trees, flowers and grass in and around our school and
According to the program, we will plant different kinds of trees, flowers and grass in and around our school and
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What are you comments on this version?
I'd like to tell you that our school has worked out a face-lifting program, the purposes of which are to beautify our school, to purify the air and make our school a better place for our lives and study.
According to the program, we will plant different kinds of trees, flowers and grass in and around our school and a botanical garden will be bui
I'd like to tell you that our school has worked out a face-lifting program, the purposes of which are to beautify our school, to purify the air and make our school a better place for our lives and study.
According to the program, we will plant different kinds of trees, flowers and grass in and around our school and a botanical garden will be bui
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I'd like to tell you that our school has devised a program worked out a face-lifting program the purposes of which are to beautify our school, to purify the air and make our school a better place to live and study. --for our lives and study.-- According to the program, we will plant differen
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There are many issues with this letter, namely phrasing, word choices, construction and semantics. It's rather stiff and awkward just from a tone persepctive. A- star has made some changes already, I just want to brush on a few:
Face-lift is a very vauge term. Do you mean renovation on the exterior ? When we say a building has a face lift, it suggests certain degree of change on the desig
Face-lift is a very vauge term. Do you mean renovation on the exterior ? When we say a building has a face lift, it suggests certain degree of change on the desig
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