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Uktous Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

Which sentence is the best?

sorry, I am not good at writing , so I hope someone can give me few opinion about which of the following sentence is the best.

I have all the required skills stated in your website, as demonstrated in my past career, and I am keen to develop myself, so I think I will be a good employee inyour company.





As demonstrated in my past career, I have all the required skills stated in your website, and I am keen to develop myself, so I think Iwill be a good employee in your company.

As demonstrated in my past career I have all the required skills stated in your website, and I am keen to develop myself, so I think Iwill be a good employee in your company.





I am keen to develop myself, and I have all the required skills stated in your website as demonstrated in my pastcareer, so I think I will be a good employee in your company.

I am keen to develop myself, and I have all the required skills stated in your website, as demonstrated in my pastcareer, so I think I will be a good employee in your company.
  

Top answer

Hi, Here's my first reaction. Pretend I am an employer who reads this. Why should I care that you are keen to develop yourself?

  • Hi, Here's my first reaction.
  • Pretend I am an employer who reads this.
  • Why should I care that you are keen to develop yourself?
  • What I am looking for is someone who can help me with my problems in my business In other words, and particularly when you start your sentence with it, it makes you sound very interested in yourself.
  • How would you answer if I asked you to explain this, in a job interview?
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3 Answers
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Hi,
Here's my first reaction.

Pretend I am an employer who reads this. Why should I care that you are keen to develop yourself? What I am looking for is someone who can help me with my problems in my business

In other words, and particularly when you start your sentence with it, it makes you sound very interested in yourself.

How would you answer if I asked you to e
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are you asking "why are you keen to develop yourself?"
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I bet Clive is asking you, if he were an employee, to persuade him that you will be able to produce results, be good at the job you're applying to and, in other words, why you can be useful for him or business he has got.

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