Which sentence is more suit and grammatically correct?

As per your request, we have taken the damaged exterior roller blinds to our workshop for our inspection. After inspection, we found that the mechanism and other metals parts were completely damaged; broken and rusted. We suggest that we should replace it with new one.

As per your request, we have taken the damaged exterior roller blinds to our workshop for inspection. Upon inspection, we found that the mechanism and other metals parts were completely damaged; broken and rusted. It is better to replace it with new one.