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Uktous Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

Which sentence is better?

I successfully demonstrated, and developed, all key attributes stated in your company’s website in my past career

I successfully demonstrated and developed all key attributes stated in your company’s website in my past career

or honestly both bad?
  

Top answer

To help with modification issues, I would place "in my past career" at the beginning of the sentence; otherwise it sounds like that phrase is modifying 'website'. I have no problem with the commas, either way. The commas serve to accentuate 'developed'.

— Philip

  • To help with modification issues, I would place "in my past career" at the beginning of the sentence; otherwise it sounds like that phrase is modifying 'website'.
  • I have no problem with the commas, either way.
  • The commas serve to accentuate 'developed'.
  • It may even be better to omit 'and developed'.
  • I think that 'successfully demonstrated' would be enough.
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4 Answers
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To help with modification issues, I would place "in my past career" at the beginning of the sentence; otherwise it sounds like that phrase is modifying 'website'.

I have no problem with the commas, either way. The commas serve to accentuate 'developed'. It may even be better to omit 'and developed'. I think that 'successfully demonstrated' would be enough.
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Well, the second is the better, but both are vague and stilted. It would be better to specify. Use a couple of sentences.
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