Which one is correct? And WHY?

Question

1 as the evidence mounted that there was a full-blown recession, not only in the US, but globally, the panic really set in.2 as the evidence mounted        there was a full-blown recession, not only in the US, but globally, the panic really set in.thanks!

Dimsumexpress · Accepted Answer

Neither sounded good to me from a syntactical and semantic point of view.

Issues:

Why "was"? The recession is still with us.

This is a long run-on sentence with serial comma.

What is the intended function of " the panic really set in." ? The placement and consturction looks odd.

With the words used in the original sentence, you could rewrite it: The evidence is apparent that panic is setting in as the recession becomes full blown not only domestically in the US, but globally as well.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Anonymous1 as the evidence mounted that there was a full-blown recession, not only in the US, but globally, the panic really set in.

2 as the evidence mounted there was a full-blown recession, not only in the US, but globally, the panic really set in.

thanks!

#1 is OK,

#2 is not.

Clive · Answer

Hi,

I wouldn't say that omitting'that' is wrong, but I'd leave it in the sentence. Without it, the reader is likely to think that 'there was a full-blown recession' is the main clause when he reads it. This means that when the reader finally reaches the real main clause (the panic really set in) he wil have to read the sentence again to find the proper meaning.

Both sentences are also incorrect without a capital letter at the start.

I would also remove the commas as follows, to associate the phrase in bold clearly with the preceding clause.

ie

As the evidence mounted that there was a full-blown recession no comma not only in the US no comma but globally, the panic really set in.

Clive

Which one is correct? And WHY?

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