Which one is correct?

Question

The detail report will be sent you after the inspection has been completed / We will send you the detailed report after the inspection is completed.
The first shipment has already been received at our stores and the following will be delivering on Saturday onwards.
The first shipment has already been received at our stores this and the delivery will be following on Saturday onwards.

KrisBlueNZ · Accepted Answer

1. "The ~~detail~~ detailed report will be sent you after or when the inspection has been completed."
2. "We will send you the detailed report after or when the inspection is completed."

With the marked correction (detail --> detailed), both of these are correct. Sentence 1 is expressed in "passive voice", where the active agent (the agent that will be doing something, i.e. "we") is not mentioned. It's as if the report will magically send itself, without any human effort, or something like that. Passive voice is common in "manager-speak" and "legalese", where it can make sentences so abstract that they become almost meaningless. Also, sentence 1 is longer than sentence 2. For all of these reasons, many people (apart from managers and lawyers) prefer "active voice", as used in sentence 2. This sentence is more direct, and states the agent ("We will send ..."). It is also short, and to-the-point.

"... has been completed" is more accurate than "... is completed", but both are acceptable

3. "The first shipment has ~~already~~ (unnecessary) been received at our ~~stores~~ suggest store and the following items will be ~~delivering~~ delivered [to you] on from Saturday onwards."
4. "The first shipment has ~~already~~ (unnecessary) been received at our ~~stores~~ suggest store ~~this~~ and the delivery will ~~be following~~ follow on from Saturday onwards."

You don't need to use already if you're just notifying the customer that the shipment has been received. You would use already in a case like this:
Alan: "Let me know when the shipment arrives."
Bob: "It's already here."
In this example, Alan thinks that the shipment hasn't arrived yet, so Bob uses already to emphasise the fact that Alan was mistaken. If Alan asked "Has that shipment arrived [yet]?", Bob would reply "Yes, it's here", without using already.

I'm not sure what you mean by following here. You can say "the following items will be delivered ..." and list the items after this sentence. You can also say "... and delivery will follow ..." because delivery (of items to the customer) follows, i.e. occurs after, the shipment is received at the store. Otherwise I wouldn't use follow or following in these sentences.

You don't use on with onwards in this sense. It's not "on Saturday onwards"; it's "from Saturday onwards".

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