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Ben9108 Posted 20 years ago
Grammar

Where is the Problem ?

The following paragraph is a part of my application letter. It has been commented by two interviewers. Up to this moment, i cannot find the problem from where. Have anyone help me?

"For the whole, I enclosed herewith my resume for your kind consideration and I hope my solid experience would properly help myself to develop my career in this field. I would like to success your business if future great cooperation can be achieved. I look forward to being granted an interview, when I shall be glad to explain myself to you more detail. "
  

Top answer

hello! some thoughts.. 1) i would like to succeed in your business especially when cooperation is acheived?

  • hello!
  • some thoughts..
  • 1) i would like to succeed in your business especially when cooperation is acheived?
  • is this what you mean?
  • 2) im looking forward for an interview wherein i can give you full details of my qualifications
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3 Answers
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hello!

some thoughts..

1) i would like to succeed in your business especially when cooperation is acheived? is this what you mean?

2) im looking forward for an interview wherein i can give you full details of my qualifications
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Ben9108The following paragraph is a part of my application letter. It has been commented by two interviewers. Up to this moment, i cannot find the problem from where. Have anyone help me?

"For the whole, I enclosed herewith my resume for your kind consideration and I hope my solid experience would properly help myself to develop my career in this field. I would l
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Tag's suggestions are good - but watch the spellings. You are tying yourself up in knots trying to sound too 'clever' - stick to expressing yourself clearly and simply for a better impression.

"For the whole (meaninless)

I enclose my resume for your consideration. I believe my solid experience (would properly help myself to devel

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