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Anonymous Posted 12 years ago
Grammar
What's wrong?
I cannot quite place my finger on it but something about this sentence doesn't seem right to me. I am considering the possibility of a run on sentence. It is the final sentence in a paragraph and I generally prefer to use slightly longer, more complex sentences to end my paragraphs (where I would use shorter, quick hits to open a paragraph to let a reader in). Possibly the use of a semi-colon?
Here it is:
I met several lobbyists while I was in DC and I took them to be real, hard working people and I would be proud to call myself a member of that group.
I don't like the transition from the use of "people" to "group" I also don't like the use of the word "that" it feels elementary to me. Anyway, I thank you all in advance.
-David
Here it is:
I met several lobbyists while I was in DC and I took them to be real, hard working people and I would be proud to call myself a member of that group.
I don't like the transition from the use of "people" to "group" I also don't like the use of the word "that" it feels elementary to me. Anyway, I thank you all in advance.
-David
Top answer
" (To say that they're "real hard-working people" would be quite casual, and possibly out of style with the rest of your sentence. ") I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say.
- " (To say that they're "real hard-working people" would be quite casual, and possibly out of style with the rest of your sentence.
- ") I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say.
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2 Answers
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I'd use a semicolon after "people," especially given the comma after "real."
(To say that they're "real hard-working people" would be quite casual, and possibly out of style with the rest of your sentence.
I'm not sure if you mean that they're "real people" who are also hard-working, or if they work "real hard."
I guess you wouldn't have placed the comma if you meant "real hard."
(To say that they're "real hard-working people" would be quite casual, and possibly out of style with the rest of your sentence.
I'm not sure if you mean that they're "real people" who are also hard-working, or if they work "real hard."
I guess you wouldn't have placed the comma if you meant "real hard."
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Here is the paragraph to put it in context:
Why pursue Law? In short, I am choosing to attend law school because I believe it will help me to become a better lobbyist. I do not want to be a practicing attorney. I have always been interested in politics and want to be able to impact policy in a way other than simply casting my vote or writing my congressman. I want to be a part of the
Why pursue Law? In short, I am choosing to attend law school because I believe it will help me to become a better lobbyist. I do not want to be a practicing attorney. I have always been interested in politics and want to be able to impact policy in a way other than simply casting my vote or writing my congressman. I want to be a part of the
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