What's a friend friend?

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What's a friend friend when people say it?

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email (Email Removed) burbled
[nq:1]What's a friend friend when people say it?[/nq]
Someone you don't have *** with.

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]What's a friend friend when people say it?[/nq]
A Platonic friend.
Best regards,
Spehro Pefhany

"it's the network..." "The Journey is the reward" (Email Removed) Info for manufacturers: http://www.trexon.com Embedded software/hardware/analog Info for designers: http://www.speff.com

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[nq:2]What's a friend friend when people say it?[/nq]
[nq:1]Someone you don't have *** with.[/nq]
That's one end. The other is someone who is closer than a mere friendly acquantance:
He's not a friend friend, but we sometimes have lunch together.

Evan Kirshenbaum + HP Laboratories >The law of supply and demand tells us
1501 Page Mill Road, 1U, MS 1141 >that when the price of something isPalo Alto, CA 94304 >artificially set below market level,

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]What's a friend friend when people say it?[/nq]
How do people use it?
It could mean "a real friend". "I guess he's a friend of mine" (I'd go on a hike with him) "but I don't know if he's a friend friend" (if he called me from Hawaii because he needed me to wire him all the money in my bank account, I wouldn't do it).

Jerry Friedman

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On 20 Aug 2003 10:30:33 -0700, Evan Kirshenbaum
[nq:1]That's one end. The other is someone who is closer than a mere friendly acquantance: He's not a friend friend, but we sometimes have lunch together.[/nq]
The two difinations are so far apart. I'd better avoid using it. People's gonna misunderstand.
Imagine, a guy askes a girl,"do you have a lot of friends?" The girl, thinking of real friends, asks, "do you mean friend friend?"
The guy, thinking of sexual partners, says,"yeah." The girl says,"I have a lot."
The guy thinks she's easy.

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email (Email Removed) burbled
[nq:2]That's one end. The other is someone who is closer ... not a friend friend, but we sometimes have lunch together.[/nq]
[nq:1]The two difinations are so far apart. I'd better avoid using it. People's gonna misunderstand.[/nq]
What Evan means is that we use the word "friend" to identify lots of people. A "friend friend" is a "real friend" (in your terms below), a close friend, someone you share secrets with, would lend money to, would donate blood for, would go out of your way to help, but not someone you have *** with. At the other end of the "friend" spectrum are people you are friendly with but do not feel terribly close to. You might go to lunch with such a person, but you would not share secrets or lend money to this type of "friend".
Friendship can be graded in degrees of closeness. Your very best friend in the world might be called your "friend friend friend" (or you can add one or more "friend"s if you like), and one generally does not have *** with one's best friend, simply because it complicates the relationship.
If you have had much experience breaking up with your lovers, or being dumped by them, and you get one of those "We can still be friends" lines, then you probably know that this is almost impossible for most men to do. It's hard to be friendly with someone you used to have *** with but who no longer wants to or will have *** with you.
[nq:1]Imagine, a guy askes a girl,"do you have a lot of friends?" The girl, thinking of real friends, asks, "do you mean friend friend?" The guy, thinking of sexual partners, says,"yeah."[/nq]
The guy is wrong here. She means platonic (non-sexual) friends. In Taiwan, for example, high school and even college kids say they have a lot of "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" when what they mean are "boys who are friends" and "girls who are friends". They say this in English, of course. There is no confusion about "peng-you" ("friend") in Chinese, as far as I can tell.
[nq:1]The girl says,"I have a lot." The guy thinks she's easy.[/nq]
I think you missed the point. The guy's idea is all wrong. In the old days people would say "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and, depending upon age and other circumstances, one might reasonably assume that the two were lovers (ie, having *** with each other). A while back, though, that changed. Rather than define themselves as playing the role of "girlfriend" by saying "This is my boyfriend" (that's how it started, but then everybody started to say this), persons would say "This is my friend, Pat (unisex name)", which is ambiguous but usually means "lover". Doubling "friend" by saying "friend friend" means someone who is a non-sexual friend. You spend time with this person but do NOT have *** with him or her.
What R H Draney (Email Removed) meant in the other post when he said "Somewhat more precisely: someone who won't have *** with you*" was just a matter of emphasis. Rather than letting people think that *you (the male) are the one who wants to keep *** out of the relationship, he is suggesting that male-female platonic relationships exist primarily because she (the female) likes you and wants to talk to you but is not interested in having *** with you. The implication and I would generally agree is that guys tend to want to have *** with almost any woman they'd like to be friends with.

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]The two difinations are so far apart. I'd better avoid using it.[/nq]
That's a good idea. It can mean different things in different contexts, and it isn't standard English, anyway.

I think it is most often used in the following way:

John, was that your girlfriend?
Her? No, she's just my 'friend' friend.
But it could have other meanings as well.

Michael West
Melbourne, Australia
(Expat Yank)

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[nq:1]The guy is wrong here. She means platonic (non-sexual) friends. In Taiwan, for example, high school and even college kids ... what they mean are "boys who are friends" and "girls who are friends". They say this in English, of course.[/nq]
Many girls and women in the US, I think only those born since 1940, use "girlfriend" to mean "female (platonic) friend of sufficient closeness or familiarity". I can remember this being a sort of class marker in the New York Metropolitan Area way back in the 'Eighties (sophisticated girls/women never used it, but unsophisticted provincial ones did), but FAIK that might have faded away by now. I recently heard it used by a woman in Chicago.

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[nq:1]What's a friend friend when people say it?[/nq]
Can a friend friend be a man's man or a gentleman's gentleman?

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[nq:2]What's a friend friend when people say it?[/nq]
[nq:1]Can a friend friend be a man's man or a gentleman's gentleman?[/nq]
I think not. Could you imagine Sebastian Cabot and Brian Keith, in character, going to a bar and hoisting a few cold ones together?

Best regards,
Spehro Pefhany

"it's the network..." "The Journey is the reward" (Email Removed) Info for manufacturers: http://www.trexon.com Embedded software/hardware/analog Info for designers: http://www.speff.com

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