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Errykus Posted 15 years ago
Grammar
What is wrong with this sentence
Rationale for request
Following the restructuring of the department, it has become necessary to source for a suitable candidate who will be responsible for the provision of HR statistical reports.
Noah has been with our company for the past two years and has been responsible for the preparation of labour reconciliation, overtime reports, absences/unavailable report, timesheets and attendance reconciliation and other HR related statistics and reports base on business requirement. He also doubles his duties as the central liaison officer for all HR statistical information required by other departments. He also liaises closely with the payroll team in ensuring timely and accurate payment of salaries and or additional/variable payments.
No is currently an Assistant Human Resources Officer and prior to his promotion, he has been appointed as a team leader for the extrapolation of data for the Ghana Remuneration Project. In addition to his duties, he has been delivering training to his team members on the appropriate use of the SAP - HR module in maximising it functionality and utilisation.
His competencies have been assessed during this period and have been proven competent to take up the duties and responsibilities of a Human Resources Officer - Statistics and Reports.
Following the restructuring of the department, it has become necessary to source for a suitable candidate who will be responsible for the provision of HR statistical reports.
Noah has been with our company for the past two years and has been responsible for the preparation of labour reconciliation, overtime reports, absences/unavailable report, timesheets and attendance reconciliation and other HR related statistics and reports base on business requirement. He also doubles his duties as the central liaison officer for all HR statistical information required by other departments. He also liaises closely with the payroll team in ensuring timely and accurate payment of salaries and or additional/variable payments.
No is currently an Assistant Human Resources Officer and prior to his promotion, he has been appointed as a team leader for the extrapolation of data for the Ghana Remuneration Project. In addition to his duties, he has been delivering training to his team members on the appropriate use of the SAP - HR module in maximising it functionality and utilisation.
His competencies have been assessed during this period and have been proven competent to take up the duties and responsibilities of a Human Resources Officer - Statistics and Reports.
Top answer
Here are my suggestions (new wording in boldface, deleted wording crossed out). Please use whatever is helpful. Note, I also added spaces between paragraphs.
- Here are my suggestions (new wording in boldface, deleted wording crossed out).
- Please use whatever is helpful.
- Note, I also added spaces between paragraphs.
- Note, I heavily modified the closing paragraph.
- That is where you want to make your strongest argument.
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3 Answers
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Here are my suggestions (new wording in boldface, deleted wording crossed out). Please use whatever is helpful.
Note, I also added spaces between paragraphs.
Note, I heavily modified the closing paragraph. That is where you want to make your strongest argument. It seemed rather weak as written.
Rationale for request
Following the restructurin
Note, I also added spaces between paragraphs.
Note, I heavily modified the closing paragraph. That is where you want to make your strongest argument. It seemed rather weak as written.
Rationale for request
Following the restructurin
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