What is the problem with each sentence?

Question

I had a sophomore slump, but I worked hard in my junior year.Every senior, who is a member of the Circle Club, recieves an award.

Avangi · Accepted Answer

Welcome to English Forums, pandy. Thanks for joining us! [<:o)]

The problem with the second one is that you have set off the relative clause, relieving it of its "restrictive" status.
I think it's safe to assume that not all seniors are members of the club and receiving awards.
The "who" clause should restrict the subject from "every senior" to only those seniors who are members of the club. It's then called "a restrictive clause." By adding the commas, you've changed it to a non-restrictive clause. The implication is that all seniors receive the award, and, oh, by the way, they're also all members of the Circle Club.

I don't know if I can explain my objection to the first one.
We expect something like, "I had a sophomore slump, but I worked my way out of it."
It's a subtle difference.
The "but" doesn't work, because in the first clause the stress is on slump, not on Sophomore.
But you could change that.
When I was a Sophomore I was in a slump, but when I was a Junior I worked hard.

I suppose it has something to do with parallel structure - not in a grammatical sense, but in a logical sense.

BarbaraPA · Answer

I have no problem with the first sentence as it stands.

What is the problem with each sentence?

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