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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

What is my mistake in tihis writing?

It was a beautiful sunny morning in the Jenny and Enid´s farm, they were two sisters and also two great farmers. The farm was wonderful, there lived happy different animals in the middle of a great harvest of different vegetables, which was going to participate in a vegetables´ competition, where each year, all the farmers in the area took part in order to gain the “title of the farmer of the year”.

Enid and Jenny had participated every year without getting the big prize which had done that the other farmers made fun of them. They had worked a lot but in spite of that they decided to use a magic liquid in order to gain so appreciated title.

The great day arrived, and Enid and Jenny were ready, only lacked to add to vegetables the magic liquid. Enid added quickly the magic liquid while Jenny did the registry of his vegetables. The place was full and all the farmers showed happy and proud their harvests. When all were ready, Enid and Jenny were to saw the others vegetables while the competition began, but when they returned with their vegetables, they noticed that a new problem had begun. Their vegetables were losing their beautiful brightness. Neither Enid nor Jenny knew the time duration of the magic liquid. It was so late to add more liquid to vegetables, the judge was in front of their so they had to resign themself to participate without help of the magic liquid.

Finally, the great moment had arrived, the judge was going to present the results all the farmers was very nervous, while Enid and Jenny felt a enormous disappointment, but suddenly the judge promulgated to Enid and Jenny as the new farmer of the year, they couldn´t believe that but in that moment they promised not doubt themselves again.
  

Top answer

I have underlined some mistakes: It was a beautiful sunny morning in the Jenny and Enid´s farm, they were two sisters and also two great farmers. The farm was wonderful, there lived happy different animals in the middle of a great harvest of different vegetables , which was going to participate in a vegetables´ competition, where each year, all the farmers in the area took part in order to gain the “title of the farmer of the year”. Enid and Jenny had participated every year without getting the big prize which had done that the other farmers made fun of them.

  • I have underlined some mistakes: It was a beautiful sunny morning in the Jenny and Enid´s farm, they were two sisters and also two great farmers.
  • The farm was wonderful, there lived happy different animals in the middle of a great harvest of different vegetables , which was going to participate in a vegetables´ competition, where each year, all the farmers in the area took part in order to gain the “title of the farmer of the year”.
  • Enid and Jenny had participated every year without getting the big prize which had done that the other farmers made fun of them.
  • They had worked a lot but in spite of that they decided to use a magic liquid in order to gain so appreciated title.
  • The great day arrived, and Enid and Jenny were ready, only lacked to add to vegetables the magic liquid.
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1 Answers
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I have underlined some mistakes:


It was a beautiful sunny morning in the Jenny and Enid´s farm, they were two sisters and also two great farmers. The farm was wonderful, there lived happy different animals in the middle of a great harvest of differ

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