What Happened During My Nightshift

Question

Wrote it awhile ago now. Comments and crits appreciated

What Happened During My Night Shift

Night fell.
Trees trod through the sky;
Marched like nervous occupation,
Till caught by the lampposts.

Tumbling upon the meadows,
Polystyrene cups swept the area;
Twitched madly for the life offered,
In a cold gust of wind.

Dawn broke with rain.
Pitter-patters of feet returned;
Dropped like shells on the territory,
Of a brand new day.

Andrewdust · Accepted Answer

no comments ? <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/6.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/6.gif' alt='Emotion: sad'/>

Peter · Answer

Ok I'll step up

I loved the imagary, I gotta admit I just ate it up and ran off

. Plus I also thought I'm commenting too much.

A note regardng the line 'Till caught by the lampposts.' I didn't really understand it. Great work!

Harder, better, fasster, stronger.. Daft punk are just waaaaay too ***y *-D

Anita_a · Answer

Well, a good poem by a mature mind!It is indeed a great poem with good imagery.

MrPedantic · Answer

Hello AD

I wasn't sure if you had deliberately left out the 'a' before 'nervous' in line 3 — ?

Also whether the commas at the end of lines 7 and 11 were necessary — ?

MrP

What Happened During My Nightshift

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