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Injuredpalestine Posted 20 years ago

what do you think of this writing ? " after today" is it acceptable to be a

1b00After Today02b02br
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00After today there will be no bombing02br
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00Tomorrow will be singing and dancing02br
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00***02br
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0011th September will be a memory02br
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00No more death and tears in my metonymy02br
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00***02br
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00But there will be a big challenge02br
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00How to organize our package02br
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00***02br
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00Please factions and parties02br
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00Do not give a chance to our enemies02br
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00***02br
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00Could you be united?02br
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00Under the flag of our beloved02br
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00***02br
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00You have a holly duty02br
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00How to organize our land and make it full of beauty02br
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00***02br
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00However we do not want it to be new Palestine02br
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00In order to forget what is bigger more than our small Palestine02br
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00***02br
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00We do not want Gaza to be the first and the last02br
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00Gaza is the first, but not the last02br
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00***02br
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00Gaza pull out is the resistance son02br
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00Whom our heroes with their struggle have born02br
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00Injured Palestine0-
  

Top answer

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6 Answers
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0Hello, Injured Palestine.02br
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00Yes, 01i00After Today02i00 is a good title.02br
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01i00Holy02i00 is spelled thus.02br
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01i00Bigger more02i00 01i00than02i00 is odd.0-
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0Dear Mister Micawber,02br
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00 Thank you very much for checking my spelling, but I did not get what do you mean of Bigger more than is odd.02br
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00All the best,02br
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00Injured Palestine0-
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1i00Bigger more02i00 does not sound like natural English to me, Injuredpalestine, and I do not understand quite what you wish to say in this couplet:02br
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01i00However we do not want it to be new Palestine02br
00In order to forget what is 01b00bigger more02b02i00 than our small Palestine02br
02
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0Dear Mister Micawber,02br
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00Now I have got what do you mean. First of all it was a printing mistake, I wanted to say " In order NOT to forget something bigger than our small palestine, I mean by small palestine here GAZA after the Israeli pull out from Gaza. so I wanted to draw the attention to what comes after re-freeing Gaza from the Israeli occupation. Which is the
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0Then you don't need both words, 01i00more02i00 and 01i00bigger02i00. How about something like:02br
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01i00However we do not want it to be a new Palestine02br
00If we forget what is bigger (greater) 02i00than our small Palestine02br
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00Or however you'd like to phrase it- a
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0Hi02br
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00Thank you very much for your effective comments. I will adopt; 02br
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01i00However we do not want it to be a new Palestine02br
00If we forget what is bigger (greater) than our small Palestine02i02br
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01i00But I don't know how to edit it plz tell me how?02i0-
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