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Sabrina, a 33 year-mother visited her neighbor Francine carrying tom in his cradle. Tom was only 3 months but full of life and exuberance. Sabrina put the cradle on Francine's bed and soon the two women started chatting.But Francine's cat was already lying on the bed. The presence of the Tom just turned it to an exited playful pet.Black Whiskers hopped a few feet on its hindlimbs towards Tom who was trying to reach his swinging legs. And all of sudden, it jumped over Tom's face and bit his nose while using its hind legs to claw his throat aggressively. Its forelimbs were holding both of his ears when Tom cried so loudly that Black Whiskers scampered out of the room. Sabrina was appalled when she reached over her hysterically crying infant."Oh my Gosh, what a ... cat!" muttered Sabrina. "How can you live with such a .. animal" asked. Francine was upset about the remarks made by her guest on her lovely cat. "Well, you have kids, me I am just a barren woman, so get out of here or I will scratch your face too" yelled Francine. "you want to show off your infant here in my room and I hope Black Whiskers gave you a lesson!"

What do you think of it? thanks

CalifJim · Accepted Answer

austere125riversWhat do you think of it?

A psychologically harrowing vignette. Iron out the grammatical and stylistic details and it will be even more effective. I've pointed out the bare minimum of changes needed.

Carrying Tom in his cradle, Sabrina, a 33-year-old mother, visited her neighbor Francine. Tom was only 3 months old but full of life and exuberance. Sabrina put the cradle on Francine's bed, and soon the two women started chatting. But Francine's cat was already lying on the bed. The presence of ~~the~~ Tom just turned it to an excited, playful pet. Black Whiskers hopped a few feet on its hind limbs towards Tom, who was trying to reach his swinging legs. And all of sudden, it jumped over Tom's face and bit his nose while using its hind legs to claw his throat aggressively. Its forelimbs were holding both of his ears when Tom cried so loudly that Black Whiskers scurried out of the room. Sabrina was appalled when she reached out to her hysterically crying infant."Oh my Gosh, what a ... cat!" muttered Sabrina. "How can you live with such a .. animal," she asked. Francine was upset about the remarks made by her guest about her lovely cat. "Well, you have kids. Me, I am just a barren woman, so get out of here, or I will scratch your face too," yelled Francine. "You want to show off your infant here in my room, and I hope Black Whiskers taught you a lesson!"

CJ

Austere125rivers · Answer

Thanks you CJ lol you are really an expert  in grammar, if you have a book of grammar made by yourself please give me the title I would be happy to order it. I have bought a book called " English Grammar Handbook" from amazone but was a very poor book. So I didn't order any other book because amazone doesn't accept book return. Thank you but please tell are you  a native English speaker or not?  most of the native speakers have poor grammar knowledge I think.

CalifJim · Answer

austere125riversare you a native English speaker or not?

Yes, I am.

austere125riversmost of the native speakers have poor grammar knowledge

There are various levels of different kinds of knowledge among people, no matter what language they speak. That's just part of life.

__________

I have not written a book yet, so I can't sell you a copy!

CJ

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