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Austere125rivers Posted 14 years ago
Grammar

What do you think of this small text I have just written?

Sabrina, a 33 year-mother visited her neighbor Francine carrying tom in his cradle. Tom was only 3 months but full of life and exuberance. Sabrina put the cradle on Francine's bed and soon the two women started chatting.But Francine's cat was already lying on the bed. The presence of the Tom just turned it to an exited playful pet.Black Whiskers hopped a few feet on its hindlimbs towards Tom who was trying to reach his swinging legs. And all of sudden, it jumped over Tom's face and bit his nose while using its hind legs to claw his throat aggressively. Its forelimbs were holding both of his ears when Tom cried so loudly that Black Whiskers scampered out of the room. Sabrina was appalled when she reached over her hysterically crying infant."Oh my Gosh, what a ... cat!" muttered Sabrina. "How can you live with such a .. animal" asked. Francine was upset about the remarks made by her guest on her lovely cat. "Well, you have kids, me I am just a barren woman, so get out of here or I will scratch your face too" yelled Francine. "you want to show off your infant here in my room and I hope Black Whiskers gave you a lesson!"

What do you think of it? thanks
  

Top answer

austere125rivers What do you think of it? A psychologically harrowing vignette. Iron out the grammatical and stylistic details and it will be even more effective.

  • austere125rivers What do you think of it?
  • A psychologically harrowing vignette.
  • Iron out the grammatical and stylistic details and it will be even more effective.
  • I've pointed out the bare minimum of changes needed.
  • Carrying T om in his cradle, Sabrina, a 33-year-old mother , visited her neighbor Francine.
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3 Answers
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austere125riversWhat do you think of it?
A psychologically harrowing vignette. Iron out the grammatical and stylistic details and it will be even more effective. I've pointed out the bare minimum of changes needed.

Carrying Tom in his cradle, Sabrina, a 33-year-old mother
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Thanks you CJ lol you are really an expert in grammar, if you have a book of grammar made by yourself please give me the title I would be happy to order it. I have bought a book called " English Grammar Handbook" from amazone but was a very poor book. So I didn't order any other book because amazone doesn't accept book return. Thank you but please tell are you a native English speaker or not? m
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austere125riversare you a native English speaker or not?
Yes, I am.
austere125riversmost of the native speakers have poor grammar knowledge
There are various levels of different kinds of knowledge among people, no matter what language they speak. That's just part of life.

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