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Wang.cupid Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
What do you think of this paragraph?
This is a part of my essay, what do you think and if possible, could you please find out possible grammatic errors? Thanks.
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Some people firmly believe that adhering to the cultures of the local communities contributes positively to these visitors and local residents. The most evident reason has to do with the tension between these two groups. According to some reports, the relationship between them are getting worse and worse owing to the fact tourists do not perform as decently as what local people think. Further research reveals that this should be attributed to that visitors are not familiar with local culture and take for granted that these cultures should be the same as theirs. As a result, by following the local customs and behavior, the alienation will be significantly alleviated.
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Some people firmly believe that adhering to the cultures of the local communities contributes positively to these visitors and local residents. The most evident reason has to do with the tension between these two groups. According to some reports, the relationship between them are getting worse and worse owing to the fact tourists do not perform as decently as what local people think. Further research reveals that this should be attributed to that visitors are not familiar with local culture and take for granted that these cultures should be the same as theirs. As a result, by following the local customs and behavior, the alienation will be significantly alleviated.
Top answer
What I think is that this sounds rather stiff and formal. That may be the correct approach for some situations. Here are my suggestions for correcting and improving the paragraph.
- What I think is that this sounds rather stiff and formal.
- That may be the correct approach for some situations.
- Here are my suggestions for correcting and improving the paragraph.
- I have used crossouts to show deleted words or spellings and used color bars to show new language.
- Some people firmly believe that adhering to the culture s of the local communities community contributes positively to these the relationship between visitors and local residents.
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2 Answers
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What I think is that this sounds rather stiff and formal. That may be the correct approach for some situations. Here are my suggestions for correcting and improving the paragraph. I have used crossouts to show deleted words or spellings and used color bars to show new language.
Some people firmly believe that adhering to the cultures of the local communities
Some people firmly believe that adhering to the culture
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