Hello!

I am trying to understand the conversation among Sam Harris and secular muslim panels. Secular muslim, Maajid Nawaz, is saying as below(something like this). I am not being political. I am trying to understand their English. I transcribed Maajid's words as much as I can for the context but they can be slightly inaccurate.

"The day you are born to Muslim parents, are Muslim yourself and have a Muslin child is the day you get to talk to me about anti-Muslim bigotry. Until that day, being a non-Muslim and particularly being a white male to speak to me and to police my conversation about my own religion and and its future in this world and to choose for me who I am allowed to speak to is a form of colonial patronage that I could do without. It’s a reverse form of racism. It’s policing of the conversation. It’s born of a racism of low expectations because it assumes that the only good, it’s the true good Muslim, bad Muslim game by the way. Because it assumes the only good Muslim is the angry Muslim and there happens to be a bit of a brain malfunction in the head of these people who assume that despite that fact I’ve been through all of that I’m not sitting here in front of you ranting and raving and spitting and frothing at the mouth. Therefore because I’m not angry somehow I’m not the good Muslim. It’s patronizing in the extreme.

What does 'a form of colonial patronage that I could do without' mean? The word patronize or patronage is always so confusing to understand. Also What does 'It's patronizing in the extreme' mean? I really appreciate your help!