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Snuppelina Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

What about this sentence

Hi, does this sentence sound ok, or something needs to be paraphrazed?

Numerous reports presented at this conference today are dedicated to those fields of study to which Professor X made a number of ground-breaking contributions.

Thank you!
  

Top answer

Extra wordiness needs to be eliminated: Numerous presentations at this conference today are in fields to which Professor X made a number of ground-breaking contributions.

— Mister Micawber

  • Extra wordiness needs to be eliminated: Numerous presentations at this conference today are in fields to which Professor X made a number of ground-breaking contributions.
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5 Answers
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Extra wordiness needs to be eliminated:

Numerous presentations at this conference today are in fields to which Professor X made a number of ground-breaking contributions.
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And can I say

He became one of the leading scientists in the field of nuclear fusion
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He continue with the same problem of not editing yourself to be more direct and concise. I wish you would, as your English is otherwise OK. Making sentences longer than necessary causes your reader to lose patience.

He became one of the leading nuclear fusion scientists.
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I will try harder, thanks!
When you write a shorter and better sentence it strikes me that I could perhaps have written the same, but for some reason, it's not so obvious to me before you correct it.
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It just takes practice. I still cut pieces out of my own work when I re-read it.
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