weird musician

0Musicians are a species out of the 01font00Twilight Zone02font00 with something different in their brains. This alien manifest itself as the ability to write, read and perform music, but it also takes the place of certain thought processes that normal people have. They are marching to the beat of a different drummer.02br
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01font00Twilight Zone02font00 -- why in capitals?02br
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00You doubt me? I once appeared as the star comedian at a classy night spot called 01i00The Plantation.02i00 There were five songs in my act at the time. The bass player and drummer rehearsed the material with me but the pianist failed to turn up. Frantic phone calls followed and twenty minutes before showtime the exhausted manager came to my cramped dressing room with the news that a deputy had been found. I could only hope that whatever pianist was rushing to my aid could follow my cues without preparation. At ten-thirty I was standing behind the door that led to the cabaret room, waiting to be introduced. Peering through as the waitresses traversed, I could see that no oe was seated on the piano stool. Then, as the disc-jockey began my introduction, a big man in overalls pushed past me into the main room. His once-white boiler suit was smeared in dozen hues of decorator's paint from collar to ankle and he carried a canvas bag of cans and brushes which he dumped on the stage beside the piano, unzipping and stepping out of his working chrysalis to reveal the dress-suited pupa from within. Some tables applauded. The big fellow nodded in acknowledgement with some arpeggio sweeps of the keyboard.02br
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00I thought I heard my name, came bouncing on stage and went into my opening number. Or rather, I tied to. The player painter did something that lesser musicians would never have attempted, let alone, brought off. He proceeded to transpose all five of my songs into the key of C. It is not easy to sight-read unfamiliar tunes set in F flat and E flat and play them in C. It is pretty well impossible for a really good singer to follow suit, let alone a performer of limited range like me, once described by a critic as 'vocally impaired'.02br
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00Nevertheless, with desperate misjudgement, I attempted to sing the opening song in the key imposed, failing and so switching to a lower octave, changing upwards again, then settling for a sort of declamatory recitative of my perky lyric which a moment's sober consideration would have told me would be comedy suicide. 02br
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00The audience must have thought I was drunk, drugged or mad. Of course I should have cut the other four numbers but in those days my act was tightly routined and my 01font00gags02font00 were going well enough to lull me into a false sense of security about taking each musical hurdle as it approached. Needless to say, 01font00I feel at each one02font00.02br
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00Could you please explain the red parts?02br
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00I 01font00came off to02font00 bewildered applause tinged with hostility. I could not blame them. I felt just as bewildered and hostile as the costumers who had paid good money to hear me either shrieking my parodies at them as a strangling soprano, growing them inaudably low or yelling them like a ham actor. I resolved to cut my songs down to three in future, and, in fact, I have done that ever since.02br
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00came off to means what? To leave the stage? Why 'to' is used?02br
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00As I changed my clothes in the dressing cupboard, I asked the bass player, 'What was all that about? He played everything in the wrong key.' 'Yeah, he always does that, does Big Phil. You just have to follow him, that's all you can do with Big Phil.'02br
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00I saw the pianist on my way to my car,. He was standing under a lamp, counting the cash he had been paid. 'Excuse me a moment. Why did you play all music in C?' I do that. I am known for it.' 'But why?''Sounds better,' he said and walked away to his van. I imagined hiring Big Phil to paint my house white and finding him painting it black becaue it looked better.02br
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00What was the author worried about just before he went on stage?02br
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• 00whether the man in the boiler suit really was the deputy pianist 02br
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• 00whether the deputy pianist would play too loud 02br
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• 00whether the audience would laugh more at the deputy pianist than at him 02br
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• 00whether the lack of rehearsal with the deputy pianist would spoil his act.®02li
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00What did the author discover when he started his opening song?02br
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• 00He was not as good a singer as he had thought he was 02br
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• 00The deputy pianist was unable to play well without rehearsal 02br
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• 00He could not sing the song in the way it was being played® 02br
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• 00The deputy pianist was playing the wrong song by mistake02li
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00One reason why the author kept the other four numbers in his act was that02br
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• 00the rest of his act was being quite well received 02br
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• 00he was panicking too much to think clearly® 02br
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• 00his act would have been too short otherwise 02br
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• 00the other numbers were easier for him to sing02li
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00Why were the audience both bewildered and hostile?02br
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• 00because of the peculiar way in which the author delivered the songs® 02br
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• 00because they had not come to hear so many songs 02br
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• 00because they thought the author was not doing his best 02br
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• 00because of the changes the author made to the words of the songs02li
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00What does the anecdote prove to the author?02br
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• 00that some musicians are unpredictable 02br
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• 00that all musicians are weird people® 02br
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• 00that some musicians are more adaptable than others 02br
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• 00that all musicians are deliberately awkward02li
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00Do you agree with my choices?02br
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00Thanks.02br
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