Web Hosting Content Check

Question

Hello! I hope to launch my new web hosting site in the next few days and I just wanted to see if anyone can improve the English in my content. Obviusly, very well written content is vital as it presents the business with professionalism and intelligence. Below are sections of content from the site; if anyone could review or re write them I will be very grateful!

Welcome to Ubieserve...
We are leading the way and setting the standard for hosting companies worldwide. With unprecedented service and exceptional support our customers are always the number one priority. We bring you the power to do what you want, when you want, online.
Check out our packages now!

Ubieserve is a UK based hosting company. We ensure our clients always come first in both performance and support. Our servers run the latest hardware and software technology to ensure lighting fast performance. We also offer live chat support and a ticket system.
Pay annually on any of our hosting packages and we will give you one month completely free.
Here at UbieServe customers are our top priority. If you are not 100% happy with our service we will give you your money back.

UbieServe is a UK based web hosting company. Launched in July 2008, we strive to offer the most reliable and the fastest hosting solutions available. If there's one thing you should know about us, it's that we do not oversell.

UbieServe was founded and established by James Clarke, a web developer with an idea. The plan was to create a company which put money last on its list of priorities and its customers first. We offer technical support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Unlike other companies we offer personal instant messaging support on top of both email and a ticketing system.

As well as great support we offer the best hardware and server maintenance available. Our servers run Intel Xeon Quad core processors with over 8GB of RAM. All our servers are housed in BlueSquare Mainhead datacentre for maximum security and lightning fast maintenance.
Are you looking for someone to design and develop your website? UbieServe not only offers great hosting, we offer great development opportunities too. Packages start from just $200 including: design, coding and hosting. Why not get contact us and inquire about our services? As we are sure you will agree, every customer is unique and developing a plan specific to your needs is the best way to ensure you get exactly what you want.

Talk live with our designers as they work on your site. Request unlimited revisions until you are 100% happy with the outcome. View our designer portfolio at ~~hyperlinked text~~.
Thank you so much in advance!

Mr Wordy · Accepted Answer

A few suggestions...

Welcome to Ubieserve...
We are leading the way and setting the standard for hosting companies worldwide.

This reads slightly oddly to me. I naturally read it as meaning that your business is to host companies. Then, when that doesn't seem right, I have to backtrack, ponder for a moment, and finally realise that it probably means you're a "hosting company". I think that "setting the worldwide standard for web hosting companies" is better (but sounds like an extravagant claim that might be hard to justify).

With unprecedented service and exceptional support, [add comma] our customers are always the number one priority.

Strictly speaking, this sentence is not right IMO. By "with", I think you mean that you offer this service and support, but this seems to jar with the "our" that follows.

We bring you the power to do what you want, when you want, online.
Check out our packages now!
Ubieserve is a UK-based hosting company. We ensure our clients always come first in both performance and support.

That last sentence doesn't read very well to me.

Our servers run the latest hardware and software technology to ensure lighting fast performance. We also offer live chat support and a ticket system.

I suppose that most readers will know what a "ticket system" is in this context? (I haven't a clue!)
Pay annually on any of our hosting packages and we will give you one month completely free.
Here at UbieServe, [add comma] customers are our top priority. If you are not 100% happy with our service we will give you your money back.

Previously it was spelled "Ubieserve".
UbieServe is a UK-based web hosting company.

Launched in July 2008, we strive to offer the most reliable and the fastest hosting solutions available. If there's one thing you should know about us, it's that we do not oversell.

UbieServe was founded and established by James Clarke, a web developer with an idea.

The last part of this sentence doesn't read very well to me. My immediate thought was "just the one idea?!".

The plan was to create a company which put money last on its list of priorities and its customers first.

Money last on its list of priorities? I'm sure that this sentiment is genuinely meant, but to me it sounds implausible.

We offer technical support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Unlike other companies, [add comma] we offer personal instant messaging support on top of both email and a ticketing system.

As well as great support, [add comma] we offer the best hardware and server maintenance available. Our servers run Intel Xeon Quad core processors with over 8 GB of RAM. All our servers are housed in BlueSquare Mainhead datacentre

This should be either "in a BlueSquare Mainhead datacentre" or "in BlueSquare Mainhead datacentres"

for maximum security and lightning fast maintenance.
Are you looking for someone to design and develop your website? UbieServe not only offers great hosting, we offer great development opportunities too.

"UbieServe ... we" seems a little awkward, and I'm not sure if "development opportunties" is quite what you mean. I think this sentence might be better as "UbieServe offers not only great hosting services, but great development services too."

Packages start from just $200 including design, coding and hosting. Why not ~~get~~ contact us and ~~inquire~~ ask [just my personal preference] about our services? As we are sure you will agree, every customer is unique, [add comma] and developing a plan specific to your needs is the best way to ensure you get exactly what you want.

Talk live with our designers as they work on your site. Request unlimited revisions until you are 100% happy with the outcome.

This sounds iffy to me. It could be understood to mean that you'll accommodate unlimited revisions all for the original price. I don't see how anyone could offer that sort of service.

View our designer portfolio at ~~hyperlinked text~~.

Web Hosting Content Check

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions