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Rohit_best_friend Posted 21 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
WAS SHE A BAD GIRL?
She wasn't fair...her smile never attracted me...but she had beautiful teeth...slim body...but never looked unhealthy...But something was there to make her attractive...was it the bright red bindi(dot) she was wearing on her forehead? or the slim trim figure?
I couldn't grasp her mind from her body language. She wasn't paying attention to me at first. It seemed she was more interested in the guys sitting on the upper-berth. Those guys were much younger than her. May be her young girl friends led her attention to those guys.
She didn't pay attention to me looking at her. But as I gave her more and more indications...I could see the change in her body language....Yep...those signals from her told me she too was interested.
But I don’t know why I think that those where consciously made signals....was she trying to express or experiment something? Was she a bad girl? Well.. I don’t know man...we can read the mind of God...but never a woman's. May be the most complex thing ...never can say what will happen next.
But…Just a look?..was that all she expecting from me? Anyways she gave me a smile as I got down the train. Time has separated us from the railway station.
Sitting in the bus my thoughts were just about her. All on a sudden…thoughts on her took a human form...yes...she got on the same bus. It may be because of her friend who told her I was sitting there...she gave me a huge smile...well...was it that smile I wanted from her? or something else? Anyways the fast moving bus droped me at Surathkal and took her away to Mukambika Temple....may be for ever…But who is she? What made me think about her? Never know…..
I couldn't grasp her mind from her body language. She wasn't paying attention to me at first. It seemed she was more interested in the guys sitting on the upper-berth. Those guys were much younger than her. May be her young girl friends led her attention to those guys.
She didn't pay attention to me looking at her. But as I gave her more and more indications...I could see the change in her body language....Yep...those signals from her told me she too was interested.
But I don’t know why I think that those where consciously made signals....was she trying to express or experiment something? Was she a bad girl? Well.. I don’t know man...we can read the mind of God...but never a woman's. May be the most complex thing ...never can say what will happen next.
But…Just a look?..was that all she expecting from me? Anyways she gave me a smile as I got down the train. Time has separated us from the railway station.
Sitting in the bus my thoughts were just about her. All on a sudden…thoughts on her took a human form...yes...she got on the same bus. It may be because of her friend who told her I was sitting there...she gave me a huge smile...well...was it that smile I wanted from her? or something else? Anyways the fast moving bus droped me at Surathkal and took her away to Mukambika Temple....may be for ever…But who is she? What made me think about her? Never know…..
Top answer
Hello Rohit-- welcome to English Forums. Yours is a pleasant little story, thank you. ) and punctuate more normally.
- Hello Rohit-- welcome to English Forums.
- Yours is a pleasant little story, thank you.
- ) and punctuate more normally.
- Anyway , not anyways dropped, not droped maybe , not may be
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3 Answers
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Hello Rohit-- welcome to English Forums.
Yours is a pleasant little story, thank you. I would eliminate all the ellipses (...) and punctuate more normally.
Anyway, not anyways
dropped, not droped
maybe, not may be
Yours is a pleasant little story, thank you. I would eliminate all the ellipses (...) and punctuate more normally.
Anyway, not anyways
dropped, not droped
maybe, not may be
00
I don't know, but I think that by this sentence: hose signals from her told me she too was interested.
You should write: ...she was interested too.
That's the only mistake, what I have seen.
But the rest is very good.
You should write: ...she was interested too.
That's the only mistake, what I have seen.
But the rest is very good.
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Hello Mister Micawber and spinnaker...i am really grateful for the corrections you have done. You have really inspired me. The story was a real life incident. So I had the story in my mind. But due to poor English I couldnt express it precisely. But I tried my best. And you guys gave me complements. I am really thankful to you.
cheers!
rohit
cheers!
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