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Usenet Posted 20 years ago
Screenwriting
War On Christmas
I thought it might be fun to have a "pass the ball" script which deals with the whole stupid war on Christmas thing. Let's see some others modify/add to it and keep it going until Christmas.
==
FADE IN:
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
A black and white police car speeds down a two-lane highway. Its lights flash and siren blares. A few yards ahead is an old pickup truck with a broken tail light. On the back tailgate is a huge sticker which says "MERRY CHRISTMAS" in big red letters.
INT. POLICE CAR - DAY
The POLICEMAN grabs the microphone to the PA speaker and turns up the volume. He chomps hard on a piece of gum as he yells into the mic. His voice sounds almost like Chief Wiggims from the Simpsons.
POLICEMAN
Pull over, you can't get away.
A huge puff of black smoke bursts from the truck's tailpipe as it backfires, slows down, and pulls over.
EXT. ROADSIDE - DAY
The policeman walks quickly up to the side of the truck. His right hand is positioned steadily over his pistol.
POLICEMAN
Get out and lie face down on the ground.
DRIVER
Is it my tail light? I'm on my way to get it fixed right now, really!
POLICEMAN
No, sir, it's your bumper sticker.
DRIVER
What about it?
==
FADE IN:
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
A black and white police car speeds down a two-lane highway. Its lights flash and siren blares. A few yards ahead is an old pickup truck with a broken tail light. On the back tailgate is a huge sticker which says "MERRY CHRISTMAS" in big red letters.
INT. POLICE CAR - DAY
The POLICEMAN grabs the microphone to the PA speaker and turns up the volume. He chomps hard on a piece of gum as he yells into the mic. His voice sounds almost like Chief Wiggims from the Simpsons.
POLICEMAN
Pull over, you can't get away.
A huge puff of black smoke bursts from the truck's tailpipe as it backfires, slows down, and pulls over.
EXT. ROADSIDE - DAY
The policeman walks quickly up to the side of the truck. His right hand is positioned steadily over his pistol.
POLICEMAN
Get out and lie face down on the ground.
DRIVER
Is it my tail light? I'm on my way to get it fixed right now, really!
POLICEMAN
No, sir, it's your bumper sticker.
DRIVER
What about it?
Top answer
What is the "stupid war on Christmas thing"? uk
- What is the "stupid war on Christmas thing"?
- uk
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36 Answers
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What is the "stupid war on Christmas thing"?
Bert
www.bertcoules.co.uk
Bert
www.bertcoules.co.uk
00
[nq:1]What is the "stupid war on Christmas thing"? Bert www.bertcoules.co.uk[/nq]
The virulent "politically correct" self-appointed social police in this country have gone nuts trying to get Christmas not mentioned by businesses etc.
The virulent "politically correct" self-appointed social police in this country have gone nuts trying to get Christmas not mentioned by businesses etc.
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[nq:1]The virulent "politically correct" self-appointed social police in this country have gone nuts trying to get Christmas not mentioned by businesses etc.[/nq]
Oh, right, thanks. Is that what's behind the whole rather odd "happy holidays" thing?
Bert
www.bertcoules.co.uk
Oh, right, thanks. Is that what's behind the whole rather odd "happy holidays" thing?
Bert
www.bertcoules.co.uk
00
[nq:2]The virulent "politically correct" self-appointed social police in this country have gone nuts trying to get Christmas not mentioned by businesses etc.[/nq]
[nq:1]Oh, right, thanks. Is that what's behind the whole rather odd "happy holidays" thing?[/nq]
In fairness there is more than one holiday at around the same time. Jews are celebrating Chanukah and if you believe that Kwanzaa is
[nq:1]Oh, right, thanks. Is that what's behind the whole rather odd "happy holidays" thing?[/nq]
In fairness there is more than one holiday at around the same time. Jews are celebrating Chanukah and if you believe that Kwanzaa is
00
[nq:1]In fairness there is more than one holiday at around the same time.[/nq]
Oh certainly, but in the UK "Christmas" is used as a general label for the period, rather than for any specific celebration that happens during it. So my Jewish friends speak quite easily about celebrating Chanukah at Christmas, if you follow.
I've never heard of Kwanzaa. It sounds like an internet file-sharing
Oh certainly, but in the UK "Christmas" is used as a general label for the period, rather than for any specific celebration that happens during it. So my Jewish friends speak quite easily about celebrating Chanukah at Christmas, if you follow.
I've never heard of Kwanzaa. It sounds like an internet file-sharing
00
[nq:2]In fairness there is more than one holiday at around the same time.[/nq]
[nq:1]Oh certainly, but in the UK "Christmas" is used as a general label for the period, rather than for any specific celebration that happens during it. So my Jewish friends speak quite easily about celebrating Chanukah at Christmas, if you follow.[/nq]
Yes, but the UK has a state-established official religion,
[nq:1]Oh certainly, but in the UK "Christmas" is used as a general label for the period, rather than for any specific celebration that happens during it. So my Jewish friends speak quite easily about celebrating Chanukah at Christmas, if you follow.[/nq]
Yes, but the UK has a state-established official religion,
00
"Bert Coules" (Email Removed) wrote in
misc.writing.screenplays.moderated
[nq:1]What is the "stupid war on Christmas thing"?[/nq]
Christians stole the holiday and plastered their name on top and want to call it their own. They get upset when people point out that the real reason for the season is the winter solstice and the rebirth of our shining "Sun", or Sol Invictus, and not the pre
misc.writing.screenplays.moderated
[nq:1]What is the "stupid war on Christmas thing"?[/nq]
Christians stole the holiday and plastered their name on top and want to call it their own. They get upset when people point out that the real reason for the season is the winter solstice and the rebirth of our shining "Sun", or Sol Invictus, and not the pre
00
[nq:1]Yes, but the UK has a state-established official religion, and a tradition and history (in practice) of centuries of non-recognition of other religions.[/nq]
Oh, I honestly don't believe that's anything to do with it. My firm impression is that for the vast majority of the country, "Christmas" simply doesn't carry any religious connotations at all.
Bert
www.bertcoules.co.uk
Oh, I honestly don't believe that's anything to do with it. My firm impression is that for the vast majority of the country, "Christmas" simply doesn't carry any religious connotations at all.
Bert
www.bertcoules.co.uk
00
"Bert Coules" (Email Removed) wrote in
misc.writing.screenplays.moderated
[nq:2]In fairness there is more than one holiday at around the same time.[/nq]
[nq:1]Oh certainly, but in the UK "Christmas" is used as a general label for the period, rather than for any specific celebration that happens during it. So my Jewish friends speak quite easily about celebrating Chanukah at Christmas,
misc.writing.screenplays.moderated
[nq:2]In fairness there is more than one holiday at around the same time.[/nq]
[nq:1]Oh certainly, but in the UK "Christmas" is used as a general label for the period, rather than for any specific celebration that happens during it. So my Jewish friends speak quite easily about celebrating Chanukah at Christmas,
00
POLICEMAN
Where'd you get it?
The driver is tight lipped and worried.
POLICEMAN
Okay, you're going downtown
DRIVER
(bursting into tears)
My mother gave it to me.
Where'd you get it?
The driver is tight lipped and worried.
POLICEMAN
Okay, you're going downtown
DRIVER
(bursting into tears)
My mother gave it to me.
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