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Question

The graph gives information about the proportion of male and female teachers in six varying kinds of educational institutions in the UK in 2010.

Women held a particularly larger share of teaching for young children. While teaching for older children and young adults were gradually predominated by men.

Teaching at pre-school was women-dominated. Over 95 percent of women working in nursery schools, meanwhile men only made up nearly 5 percent. That was similarly one-sided in teaching at primary school. For example, women outnumbered men [nearly 95 percent], men were roughly 10 percent.

The range of educational setting from secondary school to private training institutions was equal gender distribution. Men were represented 50% averagely, either were women. Teaching at university for young adults was predominated by men, where there were over twice as many male lecturers as female lectures.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Hu? LêThe graph gives information about the proportion of male and female teachers in six varying kinds of educational institutions in the UK in 2010.

This figure is not called a graph. Read the Task 1 instructions.
If you use the wrong words for diagrams, figures, maps or tables, you will lose points.

This is a grouped bar chart with two categories: type of educational setting and gender of teachers.

Please read my vocabulary advice. It has a list of all the possible infographics included in Task 1 essays. Memorize these words and know how to use them.

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

Hu? LêThe graph gives information about the proportion of male and female teachers in six varying kinds of educational institutions in the UK in 2010.

I have advised you in the last feedback: Do not use "give information about".

I repeat. This is very vague and imprecise. Tell the examiner exactly what is plotted or shown.

Hu? LêThe graph gives information about the proportion of male and female teachers in six varying kinds of educational institutions in the UK in 2010.

There are six types or kinds or categories. These do not vary or change. The categories are fixed.

Example opening paragraph:

The bar chart plots the percentage of men and women teachers by six educational levels in the UK in 2010. These ranged from pre-school to university and included both public and private institutions.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote less than the minimum of 150 words. You will lose points for "Task Completion." In your practice essays, pay close attention to your word count. It is a very silly and avoidable mistake to write less than the minimum.

The graph gives information about the proportion of male and female teachers in six varying kinds of educational institutions in the UK in 2010. (See my other reply for many comments on this sentence.)

Women held a particularly larger share of teaching for young children. While teaching for older children and young adults was ~~were~~ gradually (Wrong word. "Gradual" is used in a time-related context.) predominated by men.

~~Teaching at pre-school was women-dominated.~~ (repetitious. You already made this point. ) Over 95 percent of women working in nursery schools, ~~meanwhile men only made up nearly 5 percent~~. (That is not a grammatical sentence. Besides, there are only two genders - men and women. If women are 95%, it is not very informative to give the value of 5% for men! If women are 95% then men are exactly 5%.) That was similarly one-sided in teaching at primary school. For example, women outnumbered men [nearly 95 percent], men were roughly 10 percent. (If women were 95%, how could men be 10%?? The total percentage of men + woman must be 100%. It is conceivable for the total to be less than 100%. Maybe some schools use gender-neutral robots as teachers.)

The range of educational setting from secondary school to private training institutions was equal gender distribution. (Incorrect. According to the chart, only "college" had the same number of men and women teachers.) Men were represented 50% averagely, (That is not a good English word) either were women. Teaching at university ~~for young adults~~ was predominated by men, where there were over twice as many male lecturers as female lectures.(wrong word).

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