Very Urgent..Pls help me out with this Statement of Interest

Please help me with the statement of interest and check out the grammer and the flow of ideas and the ideas itself.

This is what they want me to write:

The statement of interest is your opportunity to tell us about you and your interests. It should be a brief 1 page (or at the most, 2 pages) document that describes: 1. The research area(s) you wish to pursue in graduate school, 2. Your future academic and career plans, 3. and those aspects of your previous education, training and work experience that prepared you for graduate school and future career.

This is what I wrote:

Statement of interest



The field of specialization I have chosen is master's degree in Mechanical engineering. My particular interests are in Control Systems, Mechatronics System Design, Microcontroller and Automation. As an undergraduate student, I studied the principles of Automation in production systems and I applied mechanical, electronic, and computer-based systems during my project in Mechatronics System Design course to operate and control production. Please check my attached documents which highlight my skills in that specific field.

I also have strong research and analytical abilities. I am working in the R&D department, ACMP Company, on the development of optics, photonics, electronics and language labs. I am working in collaboration with professors and engineers in the development of photonics surveillance system. I have also worked within the Mechatronics in Medicine Laboratory (MIM Lab), Imperial College London. I have received continual recognition from my classmates and teachers for outstanding in-depth thinking and effective decision making and have often been asked to assume a leadership role in group projects. Surrounded by intelligent individuals from diverse backgrounds, I had developed an extraordinary love of academic pursuits.

Through a master's degree program I plan to further explore the issues I have pondered during my undergraduate years. Studying master's degree in Mechanical engineering provides the perfect training to achieve my technical knowledge ambitions. I believe that I will increase my practical knowledge of developing team work skills by interacting with my classmates.

I value the fact that at your university education does not stop at the classroom, but rather continues through internships and extracurricular activities. I feel that an engineering university for students should balance theory with real-world application, and The University of British Columbia's curriculum and opportunities for hands-on training through associations, internships, and field study provides such balance.

I am also drawn to The University of British Columbia because of the university's emphasis on teamwork and technology, reflected by such exciting courses and programs as Production Engineering, Manufacturing Automation, Computer-Integrated Manufacturing, Intelligent Control, Supervisory Control Systems and field application projects. The work that Professor Clarence de Silva is doing on the Industrial Automation is particularly interesting. Additionally, the school's profusion of student groups and its flexible engineering program will allow me to tailor my course of study directly to my career interests. It is precisely this flexibility upon which I plan to draw while at Canada and beyond, by taking advantage of and contributing to the school's strong international alumni network.

In the long term, I would like to be involved in work at the cutting edge of technology and hopefully contribute to the sustainable development of the industry worldwide. It is in industry that I believe I can make the greatest contribution, utilizing my theoretical background and creativity as a scientist.