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Lucus Ong Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

Very short essay correction

could anybody correct this essay for me?

great thanks in advance



I danced a song called "Dancing Diva" in last two years in a national scout dancing competition. As it's a very hot dance, everybody was very high and screamed very laudly when the music rised. I felt adrenalin moving through my veins at the moment especially when I performed high-difficulty movements. As the applause sound and scream sound was as loud as thunder.

But sad to say, I suffered from a very serious yoga injury a year later. I can't do yoga now. Doctor said it's incurable. I am going to look for doctors who can cure my knees, waist and so on after this year(after graduating). I hope that my injury will recover and I can perform high-difficulty yoga movements on the stage one day
  

Top answer

Vctory Ong I danced to a song called "Dancing Diva" in the last two years in a national scout dancing competition. As it's a very hot dance, everybody was very high ( excited is better. ) of the music rose .

  • Vctory Ong I danced to a song called "Dancing Diva" in the last two years in a national scout dancing competition.
  • As it's a very hot dance, everybody was very high ( excited is better.
  • ) of the music rose .
  • I felt an adrenalin rush moving through my veins especially at the moment especially when I performed the most difficult (you can also say the high-difficulty movements, but "the most difficult" is more natural) high-difficulty movements.
  • As T he sound of the applause sound and scream s sound was as loud as thunder.
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1 Answers
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Vctory Ong

I danced to a song called "Dancing Diva" in the last two years in a national scout dancing competition. As it's a very hot dance, everybody was very high (excited is better. We use "high" to describe intoxicated people )

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