Very and so

Question

Hi,What's the difference between very and so in meaning? I'm coufused. For example:1.Why didn't you call? We were so/very worried.2.It was so/very embarrassing!3.Why are you so/very nervous?Thank you very much.

Regards · Accepted Answer

Hi,

You're right. In the contexts you gave, there's no real difference in meaning.

"So" and "very" may be interchangeable in some contexts.

Regards

CalifJim · Answer

To borrow from the dictionary definitions,

very
to a high degree : exceedingly <very hot>

so
to an indicated or suggested extent or degree <had never been so happy>

_______

very and so both indicate a certain degree or amount of the quality or property expressed in the following word.

very is easy to explain. It's a great degree or amount of the quality in question.

very cold ~ extremely cold (~ cold to a great degree)

very large ~ extremely large (~ large to a great degree)

____

so is more difficult. It suggests comparison to something not even mentioned, to something understood within the situation portrayed. It suggests a degree that is great (as very does), but also contains the idea that the listener knows how great a degree of the quality or property is expected in such a situation. so often has a greater emotional content and it is therefore often stressed when speaking.

so happy ~ happy to a degree higher than you might expect in this situation

so boring ~ boring to a degree higher than you might expect in this situation

Today's class was very interesting. / Today's class was so interesting!

_____________

very and so work differently after negations. The idea of comparison that is part of the meaning of so stands out more in negations.

He had never been very happy. ~ He had never been happy to any great degree.

He had never been so happy. ~ He had never been as happy as he was at that time.

~ That was the happiest time in his life.

_____________

so, but not very, is quite often followed by a that-clause of result.

Sharon was so bored that she fell asleep.

They were so happy that they were jumping up and down.

CJ

Regards · Answer

Hi,

Yes, but at the end of the day they may become interchangeable. I mean, people don't analyze their

actions according to the dictionary.

To me, saying "I was so nervous" means the same as "I was very nervous".

I'd say that these are nuances which commonly become insignificant in colloquial language.

Regards

CalifJim · Answer

RegardsTo me, saying "I was so nervous" means the same as "I was very nervous".

Yes, but does it feelthe same?

(It doesn't to me.)

CJ

Regards · Answer

Hi,

Frankly, it does feel the same to me. Why doesn't it feel the same to you? Really!

I want the real answer, not the one which the dictionary gives!!!

Regards

CalifJim · Answer

RegardsWhy doesn't it feel the same to you? Really!

All of that is explained in my post above, after the dictionary definition section of the post.

I don't deny that the two are sometimes interchangeable grammatically. After all, they are both adverbs of degree.

CJ

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you Regards and CJ very much for your answers.

Is extremely a higher degree than very?

CalifJimso happy ~ happy to a degree higher than you might expect in this situation

Why not happy to a degree the same as you might expect? And does 'you' refer to the speaker or listener in 'than you might expect...'?

CalifJimToday's class was so interesting!

Can I say this to a person if the listener doesn't know how great a degree of the quality is expected in such a situation.

CalifJim · Answer

You are over-analyzing. You seem to be treating language as if it were mathematics. Unfortunately, you won't be able to reduce language to math formulas.

You'll have to listen to a lot of English, noticing when so is used and when very is used, and correlating it with how the speaker seems to feel about the situation he is talking about. Then you may begin to understand the difference. It's more a difference in feeling than in meaning. very is emotionally cool. so is emotionally warm, maybe more enthusiatic, maybe more surprised.

AnonymousIs extremely a higher degree than very?

Yes. A little. And yet dictionaries often show them as synonyms.

Anonymousdoes 'you' refer to the speaker or listener in 'than you might expect...'?

It's impersonal 'you'. 'higher than a person might expect'.

AnonymousToday's class was so interesting! ... Can I say this to a person if the listener doesn't know how great a degree of the quality is expected in such a situation.

Yes. Speakers and listeners don't calculate such things. All you need is a listener who understands English.

CJ

Very and so

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