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Avid learner Posted 12 years ago
Grammar
Verbose?
Hi,
Is the following sentence correct,yet verbose at the same time?
Her seal of approval is an impetus to our advancement in achieving our rightful place as Father’s heirs.
Thanks, AL
Is the following sentence correct,yet verbose at the same time?
Her seal of approval is an impetus to our advancement in achieving our rightful place as Father’s heirs.
Thanks, AL
Top answer
Yes.
- Yes.
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2 Answers
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Yes it is. It is also too fancy ("impetus"). I would shorten it thus:
Her seal of approval [encourages/spurs/moves/pushes/drives/inspires] us to achieve our rightful place as father's heirs.
Her seal of approval [encourages/spurs/moves/pushes/drives/inspires] us to achieve our rightful place as father's heirs.
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