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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
VCU COLLEGE ESSAY: Page 87 of my Autobiography
My life has been anything but ordinary. My mom was living in her hometown
M, N with my two older brothers, N and G, when she met my dad, who was and is still working at the Embassy as a Foreign Service officer. Three years later, on an early summer day, xxx, or as my family knows me, xx, was born in xxx.
The first year of my life, my family lived six months in R, V and six months in B until we were sent to P, H. On the flight to H, there were two nuns, four journalists, and my family. Enough said. I don’t remember much about H, but I was told within the first 24 hours I got sick, power was on only eight hours a day, and I spoke the native language fluently. In 1994, my little brother and best friend C was born. After H, we were sent to the bustling city B, A. My best memories of A were developing a strong love for soccer, and swimming. While attending the French school, every recess I was the only skirt running up and down the dirt soccer field, pushing the boys down and scoring goals. On the weekends, I lived in the pool in my backyard. I’d swim around so much my parents would call me “un pescadito”, which in Spanish means “little fish”.
After living three great years in B, once again we had to move. By my seventh birthday, I was living in V. From first to seventh grade, I had many ups and downs. My ups included my love for sports. I joined competitive leagues such as soccer, swim team, and basketball. Due to sports, I became a strong leader, fiercely competitive, and a team player who valued self-discipline. Other than sports I lived a typical child hood, catching fire flies in July and building snow forts in January with my friends. My downs were when my older brother N left to live with his biological father in N, and when he later enlisted in the US Marines. My family and I suffered tremendously, but with time, it made all of us, including my brother, appreciate one another more.
In 2006, we moved to B, C. Being a 14 year old drama queen, I felt leaving my life and friend’s was the end of world. With time I grew up and realized that by assimilating into C, I would live once in a life time experiences and build lasting friendships. I revitalized my roots through music and food, and perfected my Spanish. C also took me away from a fairytale view on the world, and opened my eyes to poverty and war. From my school, houses made of tin metal, mud and cardboard could be spotted with an entire family and a scrawny pet dog barely scrapping by to survive. As the poor struggled, the higher class families also suffered due to the rebellion of the FARC guerillas against the C government. Stories of bombs on buses, kidnappings, and murder dominated C news channels.
On my 17th birthday, I moved from B to my current home L. Finishing my last two years in this unique country, I was amazed when I saw my first Cholita (indigenous women) carrying her aguayo, a colorful cloth bag perfectly holding her baby. In my new school, I continued my love for sports, and discovered new passions in fashion and theatre. I have been a starter on both the varsity basketball and soccer teams, I’ve worked both onstage and backstage in fashion shows, modeled in fashion magazines, worked as a fashion stylist, and took part in my school play. I acted as a homosexual Latino man, pretty wild. Fashion and theatre have given me great work experience, and have taught me to never conform to the norms of society, and to never be afraid of being myself.
I believe these qualities, as well as my multi-cultural background, makes me uniquely prepared to take advantage of the VCU experience.
M, N with my two older brothers, N and G, when she met my dad, who was and is still working at the Embassy as a Foreign Service officer. Three years later, on an early summer day, xxx, or as my family knows me, xx, was born in xxx.
The first year of my life, my family lived six months in R, V and six months in B until we were sent to P, H. On the flight to H, there were two nuns, four journalists, and my family. Enough said. I don’t remember much about H, but I was told within the first 24 hours I got sick, power was on only eight hours a day, and I spoke the native language fluently. In 1994, my little brother and best friend C was born. After H, we were sent to the bustling city B, A. My best memories of A were developing a strong love for soccer, and swimming. While attending the French school, every recess I was the only skirt running up and down the dirt soccer field, pushing the boys down and scoring goals. On the weekends, I lived in the pool in my backyard. I’d swim around so much my parents would call me “un pescadito”, which in Spanish means “little fish”.
After living three great years in B, once again we had to move. By my seventh birthday, I was living in V. From first to seventh grade, I had many ups and downs. My ups included my love for sports. I joined competitive leagues such as soccer, swim team, and basketball. Due to sports, I became a strong leader, fiercely competitive, and a team player who valued self-discipline. Other than sports I lived a typical child hood, catching fire flies in July and building snow forts in January with my friends. My downs were when my older brother N left to live with his biological father in N, and when he later enlisted in the US Marines. My family and I suffered tremendously, but with time, it made all of us, including my brother, appreciate one another more.
In 2006, we moved to B, C. Being a 14 year old drama queen, I felt leaving my life and friend’s was the end of world. With time I grew up and realized that by assimilating into C, I would live once in a life time experiences and build lasting friendships. I revitalized my roots through music and food, and perfected my Spanish. C also took me away from a fairytale view on the world, and opened my eyes to poverty and war. From my school, houses made of tin metal, mud and cardboard could be spotted with an entire family and a scrawny pet dog barely scrapping by to survive. As the poor struggled, the higher class families also suffered due to the rebellion of the FARC guerillas against the C government. Stories of bombs on buses, kidnappings, and murder dominated C news channels.
On my 17th birthday, I moved from B to my current home L. Finishing my last two years in this unique country, I was amazed when I saw my first Cholita (indigenous women) carrying her aguayo, a colorful cloth bag perfectly holding her baby. In my new school, I continued my love for sports, and discovered new passions in fashion and theatre. I have been a starter on both the varsity basketball and soccer teams, I’ve worked both onstage and backstage in fashion shows, modeled in fashion magazines, worked as a fashion stylist, and took part in my school play. I acted as a homosexual Latino man, pretty wild. Fashion and theatre have given me great work experience, and have taught me to never conform to the norms of society, and to never be afraid of being myself.
I believe these qualities, as well as my multi-cultural background, makes me uniquely prepared to take advantage of the VCU experience.
Top answer
I have a few comments. I do know about this. I help a lot of students write these essays, and this particular one, in fact.
- I have a few comments.
- I do know about this.
- I help a lot of students write these essays, and this particular one, in fact.
- The universities want one page out of an entire book that would be your autobiography.
- They do not want the entire life as a list of what happened.
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2 Answers
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I have a few comments. I do know about this. I help a lot of students write these essays, and this particular one, in fact. The universities want one page out of an entire book that would be your autobiography. They do not want the entire life as a list of what happened. You want to be creative in starting the page. Many pages begin in the middle of a sentence, for example. The entire introductio
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I am a former VCU student who wrote to this same prompt 4 years ago and I definitely agree that you wrote a little too broad the first time around. While what you wrote is very interesting and well written, they are definitely looking for something more specific. Page 87 of your autobiography might mean you've passed the introduction of where your family came from, but could still put you in your
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