Vaccine refusal

Question

Many scientists in diverse fields have regarded vaccines as one of the most significant achievements of the 20^th century in terms of human health protection, however, not everyone in the world agrees. Since vaccinations first appeared, there have been vaccine refusal – individuals.

Some people are against vaccination for a variety of reasons. Someone denies vaccination because of the possibility of unpleasant responses, particularly severe post-vaccination reactions that cause disability or death in those vaccinated. Statistics, nevertheless, indicate that this danger is negligible.

Another prevalent cause is when people use religious belief to justify their denial of vaccinations. Despite the fact that most mainstream faiths do not censure vaccinations. From a different perspective, it is supposed that illnesses have vanished due to increased cleanliness rather than vaccines. The reemergence of previously eliminated pathogens has shown this viewpoint incorrect.

In the United States, the most prevalent reason for vaccine is opponents claim that the dangers of vaccination exceed the benefits. Many medical issues, including autism, are mentioned by parents as potential side effects of immunization.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

Your essay is incomplete. It lacks a thesis and conclusion.
Most paragraphs are not properly structured. The paragraph needs to have a topic that is developed by arguments. You tend to "bullet-point" ideas, not develop them. Your coherence and cohesion needs attention.

Many scientists ~~in diverse fields~~ have regarded vaccines as one of the most significant achievements of the 20^th century in terms of human health protection, (comma splice error) however, not everyone in the world agrees. Since vaccinations first appeared, there have (wrong verb form) been vaccine refusal ~~– individuals.~~

Some people are against vaccination for a variety of reasons. Someone denies vaccination because of the possibility of unpleasant side-effects ~~responses~~, particularly severe post-vaccination reactions that cause disability or death ~~in those vaccinated~~. Statistics, nevertheless, indicate that this danger is negligible (Death is not really negligible. It is pretty serious, don't you think?)

Another prevalent reason ~~cause~~ (A cause is not a reason. They are different. Also, this argument belongs in the previous paragraph.) ) is when people use religious belief to justify their denial of vaccinations. Despite the fact that most mainstream faiths do not censure vaccinations. (That is a fragment, not a sentence.) From a different perspective, it is supposed that illnesses have vanished (That does not make any sense. People get sick all the time.) due to increased cleanliness rather than vaccines. The reemergence of previously eliminated pathogens (Please give some example of a pathogen that has been eradicated and reemerged. Otherwise, your argument does not hold water. ) has shown this viewpoint incorrect.

In the United States, the most prevalent reason for vaccine (There is something missing here.) is opponents claim that the dangers of vaccination exceed the benefits. Many medical issues, including autism, are mentioned by parents as potential side effects of immunization. (Is this the end of your essay?)

Vaccine refusal

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