Use Tenses when writing a story

Hi,

I'm not a Native speaker. I'm writing an english story. I use simple past to tell the story. And I know I have to use past perfect to tell things happened earlier. Right? But I feel confused when writing the following paragraph.

"After the dinner with his parents, Kilsat left his home and went for a walk in Hidden Phoenix**. He felt so good. His mother, Melina, and Marry, her au pair, had made a really good cheesecake. Its savour reminded him of the past. He remembered when he had been ten, his birthday party had been held in the warehouse of Happiness. His mom, Melina, had prepared the biggest cake he'd never seen before. There had been a lot of people on that day. Most of them were Desat's friends, counterparts, Melina's best friends, their children and Kilsat's classmates. All goods boxes had been moved to the warehouse of Spam two days earlier. His parents had camouflaged the cheesecake as a big stage. Of course, no one had been permitted to step on that stage. The stage cake had been watched over carefully. However, the cake fragrance couldn't be covered up. Everybody had smelled that fragrance. None of them hadn't understood why the big stage had been so fragrant. Melina had wanted to make a big surprise to Kilsat. She had wanted only him to step on the cake stage to sing a song he loved. Then, he would surely tumble into the cake. She had thought this would make him feel excited. Melina hadn't known the stage cake would become a field of honour of all participants later. When Desat had invited him to go on stage, he had happily screamed and taken classmates sitting at his table with him. They, ten or nine-year old boys and girls, all had ridden for a fall to the stage cake and screamed happily. Desat and Melina had gawked in a few seconds because they couldn't anticipate that. All of Kilsat's friends had disappeared after that. They had been covered in a pulverized cheesecake pool. All present people in the warehouse had haw-hawed during 10 minutes. Kilsat couldn't forget that"

My question is: I feel something wrong when using a lot of past perfect to tell things happened earlier. Please explain and fix the paragraph above for me. Thank you so much.